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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    A badly injured man wanted

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Which of these sentences sounds better?

    1.A badly injured man wanted to speak, but only a barley audible whisper came out of his mouth.

    2. A badly injured man wanted to speak, but out of his mouth came out only a barely audible whisper.

  2. #2
    tzfujimino's Avatar
    tzfujimino is online now Key Member
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    Re: A badly injured man wanted

    There's a typo in the first sentence, Bassim.

  3. #3
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    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: A badly injured man wanted

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Which of these sentences sounds better?

    1.A badly injured man wanted to speak, but only a barley barely audible whisper came out of his mouth.

    2. A badly injured man wanted to speak, but out of his mouth came out only a barely audible whisper.
    With my corrections above, they're both OK. They're both quite flowery/formal. There's really no need for "out of his mouth" - I think people know which part of the anatomy is used for speaking and whispering.

    I'd say something like "A badly-injured man wanted to say something but could only manage a weak whisper".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. #4
    tzfujimino's Avatar
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    Re: A badly injured man wanted

    ... and you should delete the second "out" in #2 to make it grammatical.

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