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  1. #1
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you.

    Long summary
    Xia Tian is a single mother who works as an associate researcher, helping to complete a machine that can allow people to go back in time. However, upon the completion of the machine, her son Dou Dou is kidnapped by a mysterious man who wants to know the technology behind time-traveling machine. In order to save her son, she takes a risk and travels to a time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to prevent the kidnapping.

    Short summary
    When her son is kidnapped by a mysterious man, the inventor of a time machine, Xia Tian, goes back in time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to rescue him.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    In your short summary, it's impossible to tell whether the mysterious man or Xia Tian is the inventor of the time machine. Remove "earlier" - it's redundant after you've said "goes back in time".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post

    Long summary
    Xia Tian is a single mother who works as an associate researcher helping to complete make/design/build a machine that can allows people to go back in time. However, upon the completion of the project, machine, her son Dou Dou is kidnapped by a mysterious man who wants to know the technology behind time-traveling machine. In order to save her son, she takes a risk and travels to a time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to prevent the kidnapping.

    Short summary
    When her son is kidnapped by a mysterious man, the inventor of a time machine Xia Tian goes back in time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to rescue him.
    Note the correct spelling for "Chinese" in your title.

  4. #4
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    In your short summary, it's impossible to tell whether the mysterious man or Xia Tian is the inventor of the time machine.
    This is just to make the short summary more interesting, isn’t?

    I feel it’s very briefer if I don’t mention about the inventor & mysterious man.

  5. #5
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    I feel it’s very briefer if I don’t mention about the inventor & mysterious man.
    Can you fix the mistakes in that sentence?

  6. #6
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Can you fix the mistakes in that sentence?
    It’s a briefer version if I don’t mention it about the inventor and the mysterious man.

  7. #7
    teechar's Avatar
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    Delete "it about".

  8. #8
    Matthew Wai's Avatar
    Matthew Wai is offline VIP Member
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    Re: A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

    It would be briefer without mentioning the inventor and the mysterious man.
    I am not a teacher.

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