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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    After Maria's marriage collapsed

    I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

    After Maria's marriage collapsed, she sat in her car and made a journey across the US to heal her bruised soul. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope in a new beginning.

  2. #2
    tzfujimino's Avatar
    tzfujimino is offline Key Member
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    '... hope for a new beginning' sounds better to me. What do you think?

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    Would this version be better?

    After Maria's marriage collapsed, she went through one of the worst periods of her life. On a whim, she got in her car and began a journey across the US to heal her broken heart. She felt hopeless at the start, but many kind people she met gave her hope for a new beginning.

  4. #4
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    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    I don't think there's any need for "sat/got in her car and made a journey". Why don't you just say "she drove [all the way/right] across the US ..."?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    emsr2d2,

    Thank you again. You version is perfect. I am only wondering if I add "On a whim" would that be OK, like this:

    On a whim, she drove all the way across the US...

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    How about the many kind people she met?

  7. #7
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: After Maria's marriage collapsed

    Or many kind people she met along the way.

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