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  1. #1
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you.

    Long summary
    Most women are trying to be slim in order to be loved. But how about if a woman is willing to be fat for her prince charming? Krisya, a beautiful and stylish young woman who cares about nothing but her appearance. She then falls in love with a young and handsome CEO Irfan, but there is one problem - Irfan is into women who are little more on the heavier side. Krisya must now discard her way of living and work hard to increase her weight. Will she able to win Irfan’s heart?

    Short summary
    A beautiful and stylish woman falls in love with a man who is into plus-sized women. Will she able to changes herself in order to win Irfan’s heart?

  2. #2
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Krisya, a beautiful and stylish young woman who cares about nothing but her appearance.

  3. #3
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is online now Moderator
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you.

    Long summary
    Most women are trying to be slim in order to be loved. Is this suggested by the film or is it your personal view?

    But how about if a woman is willing to be fat for her Prince Charming?

    Krisya (no comma here) is a beautiful, and, slim, stylish young woman who cares about nothing but her appearance. She then falls in love with a young and handsome CEO, Irfan, but there is one problem - Irfan is into women who are little more on the heavier heavy side.
    (If you use "more", follow it with "heavy". If you use "heavier", ditch "more".)

    Krisya must now discard change her way of living life and work hard to increase her put on/gain weight. Will she able to win Irfan’s heart?

    Short summary
    A beautiful, and stylish, slim/thin woman falls in love with a man who is into plus-sizedsize women. Will she able to changes change/transform herself in order to win Irfan’s heart?
    See above.

    You need to be clear in both summaries that when she meets Irfan, Krisya is not fat. Saying she is beautiful and stylish does not mean she's not fat/overweight.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. #4
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above.

    You need to be clear in both summaries that when she meets Irfan, Krisya is not fat. Saying she is beautiful and stylish does not mean she's not fat/overweight.
    Noted on the (Slim/thin).

    Long summary
    Most women are trying to be slim in order to be loved. Is this suggested by the film or is it your personal view?
    Yes, it's my personal view.
    Last edited by Gaya87; 26-Sep-2017 at 07:52.

  5. #5
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Why? Very poor?

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Noted on the (Slim/thin).

    Long summary
    Most women are trying to be slim in order to be loved. Is this suggested by the film or is it your personal view?
    Yes, it's my personal view.

    I suggest very strongly you remove that from the summary. For a start, the summary is supposed to use only facts and ideas from the film. Secondly (and more importantly in my opinion), that's nonsense! I'm sure there are some shallow women still out there who think being slim is necessary in order to be happy and to find love. However, I can assure you that, in the 21st century, most women have realised that that is an appallingly shallow view, and one which has been perpetuated mostly by men for decades.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 26-Sep-2017 at 13:19. Reason: Fixed typo
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. #7
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: A Malaysian Movie, Kolestrol Cinta

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Why? Very poor?
    It's your usual mistake! Where's the main verb?!

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