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  1. #1
    Bassim is online now VIP Member
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    Anna sat on a stone after a long hike

    Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentences? Does "fright sealed her lips" sound natural?

    Anna sat on a stone after a long hike. As she brought a bottle to her lips to drink water, from the corner of her eye she saw a snake coiling around her leg. She wanted to scream but fright sealed her lips.

  2. #2
    Bassim is online now VIP Member
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    Re: Anna sat on a stone after a long hike

    RobertJ

    Thank you for your advice.
    Regarding a"bottle" in my sentence, I can say that when you bring a bottle to your lips, your head is still bent down and then slowly goes back. Even when you start to drink from it, you still can see your legs if they are stretched out. So it is not unlikely that she would see a snake coiling around her leg.
    Last edited by Bassim; 26-Sep-2017 at 06:42.

  3. #3
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Anna sat on a stone after a long hike

    After a long hike, Anna sat on a rock (to get some rest). She wanted to take a sip of water, and as she brought the bottle to her lips, she saw from the corner of her eye a snake coiling around her leg. She wanted to scream, but the fright sealed her lips.

    Try that.

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