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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Peter saw Maria coming

    I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

    Peter saw Maria coming to their first date wearing short hair and a dark pin-striped suit, and that made him uncomfortable. She reminded him of his boss, and he felt as he were in his workplace instead on a date.

  2. #2
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Peter saw Maria coming

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    On their first date, Peter saw Maria coming to their first date wearing short hair and a dark pin-striped suit, and that made him uncomfortable. She reminded him of his boss, and he felt as if he were in his workplace was at work instead of (out) on a date.
    Try to put the important things at (or near) the beginning of the sentence.
    Last edited by teechar; 27-Sep-2017 at 13:08. Reason: added a correction

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Peter saw Maria coming

    teechar,

    I wanted to start my sentence with "on their first date," but GoesStation used to say to me to try to rephrase my sentences using less commas, and therefore I probably subconsciously wrote the beginning as I did.

  4. #4
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: Peter saw Maria coming

    I've added another correction: "... he felt as if he ..."

  5. #5
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    Re: Peter saw Maria coming

    It's not wrong but I find "wearing short hair" very odd. I'd use something like "with her hair cut short", or "with a short haircut/hairstyle", followed by "and wearing a dark, pin-striped suit".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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