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  1. #1
    sania-baharat is offline Member
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    I see myself as a risk taker

    Could you please check the following paragraphs?

    I suppose taking risks involve being a/the kind of person who has willingness to try different, new and sometimes adventurous things. When it comes to taking risks, I see myself as a risk taker. In fact, I am more of a risk taker than I used to be and I will be happy to take some risks in life. I think my attitude to risk has changed as I have gotten older. For example, I am more open to risking a change in my appearance because I think I’m less self-conscious now. I often change the hairstyle and color of my hair, but when I was younger I had the same hairstyle and color of hair for years and years. I also take risks to do things I enjoy doing, like traveling foreign countries alone or trying adrenaline-filled zip lining adventure. I have decided to further my study beyond the bachelor’s degree abroad as well, which really is worth risks involved and is the second biggest risk I am going to take in my life. I think some elements of risk probably makes life more enjoyable than it is. The first biggest risk I've ever taken was a professional one. After 5 years working for the same company and of having different job positions, I left and applied for a new job. Although I have a sense of adventure, as far as performing adventure sports concerned, such as skiing, sky diving, cliff jumping, there is not much room for risk in my life, because those activities even have fatal consequences.

  2. #2
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    Could you please check the following paragraphs?

    I suppose taking risks involves being a/the kind of person who has the willingness to try different, new and sometimes adventurous things. When it comes to taking risks, I see myself as a risk taker. In fact, I am more of a risk taker than I used to be and I will be happy to take some risks in life. I think my attitude to risk has changed as I have gotten older. For example, I am more open to risking a change in my appearance because I think Iím less self-conscious now. I often change the hairstyle and color of my hair, but when I was younger I had the same hairstyle and color of hair for years and years. I also take risks to do things I enjoy doing, like traveling to foreign countries alone or trying adrenaline-filled zip lining adventure. I have decided to further my study beyond the bachelorís degree abroad as well, which really is worth the risks involved and is the second biggest risk I am going to take in my life. I think some elements of risk probably makes life more enjoyable than it is. The first biggest risk I've ever taken was a professional one. After 5 years working for the same company and of having different job positions, I left and applied for a new job. Although I have a sense of adventure as far as performing participating in adventure sports is concerned, such as skiing, sky diving and cliff jumping, there is not much room for risk in my life, because those activities may even have fatal consequences.
    .
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    yi-ing is offline Senior Member
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    After 5 years working for the same company and of having different job positions
    Is the sentence above correct? because of "of".

    Although I have a sense of adventure as far as performing participating in adventure sports is concerned
    Is the punctuation correct? Don't we need to put "," after "adventure"?

    think my attitude to risk has changed as I have gotten older.
    Is "As I get older " correct too?

    I left and applied for a new job.
    Can we say "a new one"?
    Last edited by yi-ing; 28-Sep-2017 at 18:58.

  4. #4
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    Thanks for pointing out the oversight.

    1. The "of" should have been omitted.

    2. There should have been a comma after "adventure".
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  5. #5
    sania-baharat is offline Member
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    Thank you, Tedmc and Yi-ing.
    How about the third and fourth question Yi-ing had for you?

  6. #6
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    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    Is the punctuation correct? Don't we need to put "," after "adventure"?
    I can't see where you're referring to, but see next post.

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    Is "As I get older " correct too?
    No, that would not be correct.

    Quote Originally Posted by yi-ing View Post
    Can we say "a new one"?
    No, because "job" is not mentioned earlier in that sentence.

  7. #7
    teechar's Avatar
    teechar is offline Moderator
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    Re: I see myself as a risk taker

    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    When it comes to taking risks, I see myself as a risk taker.
    That's not well written. Try: "Personally, I see myself as a bit of a risk taker".

    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    I often change the hairstyle and color of my hair,
    That implies you change the hairstyle of your hair! Use "style" instead of "hairstyle" there.

    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    I also take risks to do things I enjoy doing, like traveling on my own to foreign countries alone or trying adrenaline-filled activities such as zip-lining. adventure.
    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    I have also decided to further my study education beyond the level of a bachelorís degree by going to study abroad, as well, which I believe will be really is worth the risk, involved [You are inadvertently merging two common expressions here: "worth the risk" and "the risk(s) involved"]
    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    and is the second biggest risk I am going to take in my life. [How do you know you won't take any other major risks in future?!]
    Say: "and this will be the second-biggest risk I will have taken in my life."

    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    I think some elements of risk probably make life more enjoyable than it usually is. The first big gest risk I've ever taken I ever took was a professional one.
    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    Although I have a sense of adventure, as far as performing adventure sports is concerned, such as in [a sense of adventure ... such as in skiing ...] skiing, sky diving, or cliff jumping, there is not much room for other risk in my life,
    Quote Originally Posted by sania-baharat View Post
    because those activities even have fatal consequences.
    I have no idea how you wanted that to fit in with the rest of that sentence.

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