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  1. #1
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

    Patrons in a restaurant watched with their mouths open as the members of hen and stag parties got into a brawl. Nobody knew what sparked it, but soon glasses. bottles, plates and cutlery were flying through the air, forcing people to run for cover.

  2. #2
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    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I think "mouths agape" would work better than "mouths open" there.

  3. #3
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    Tarhee,

    Thank you for correcting my sentence. I would just say that Logman dictionary has: "with your mouth open" and "with your mouth agape." So I chose the first phrase.

  4. #4
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I don't like it. I don't think of participants in a hen or a stag party as "members", and I can't tell whether there's one of each or a whole slew of such parties appeared in the venue at the same time.
    I am not a teacher.

  5. #5
    Bassim is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I really don't know which better word could I use instead of "members" ? The only other suitable word I can think of is "participants."

    What about this version:

    Patrons in a restaurant watched with their mouths agape as the participants of a hen and a stag party got into a brawl.

  6. #6
    GoesStation is offline Moderator
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I think you can solve your problem by dividing this into two sentences. The first tells us the two parties arrived; the second tells us about the brawl.
    I am not a teacher.

  7. #7
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    I'd say they watched open-mouthed.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. #8
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I really don't know which better word could I use instead of "members".
    You can try "people from stag and hen parties, etc."

  9. #9
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: Patrons in a restaurant watched

    Or people "at/with/on stag and hen parties".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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