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  1. #1
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    My father is my real hero.

    Hi,
    Could you please check the talk below?

    My father is my real hero. He is someone I admire the most in my life. He has devoted all of his valuable life to serving his family, and his commitment to us is beyond question. I should be more grateful to him because he has never ceased to support his family both emotionally and financially. Even though he financially struggles at some point in his life, he has done his best to meet his family’s needs and to provide peace and security in our home. In terms of characteristics, he is very adaptable, responsible, kind and gentle. Everyone who first meets him will immediately attract to my father. Because of his great personality, the more people get to know him, the more they enjoy his company. What I like best about my father is that he is so calm, collected and patient that I have never seen him being angry or being bad-tempered and that he has never shown extreme reactions in his angriest moments. I wish I could was as patient and calm as he is.

    Also, when I am feeling down or a little depressed, it is always my father who tries to lift/lighten my mood by being a really good listener and by encouraging me with his kind words. I find his voice as well as his words really comforting. Whenever I have difficulty overcoming hardships in my life, he is the first person with whom I discuss my personal issues/problems. I often feel comfortable to talk with/to him about my private affairs as well. His fatherly advice on not fearing of failure has made all of our lives full of hope and dreams and has paved the way for better life. He has been a positive role model for my sisters and me. It is indescribable how much we all love him.

    In addition, he is never judgmental, and has tried not to grow bad feelings about people around himself. Being optimistic and having a very positive outlook on life is another pleasant thing that I like about him. He has played a very important role in improving my self-confidence and in keeping me motivated. This makes her such a great father that I think everyone wishes he was her father too.

    I can vividly remember that when I was a child, I couldn't ride a bicycle. Whenever I began/started riding it, I immediately fall off it. I almost injured myself several times. I found it really difficult and challenging to ride a bicycle. Sometimes I gave up my hopes. Nevertheless, it was my dad who taught me how to ride it, and how to try more and more, although it took him a lot of time and energy to deal with my riding.

    Also, I have to say that, he was the first person in my life to spark my interest in computer field. He bought my first PC to be able to practice my computer lessons easier and to indulge my passion for computer science, although it cost him too much money. In addition, when I wanted to applied to university, he had guided and helped me with my choosing a major. He had advised me on choosing what interested me not what pleased him. His parental and spiritual guidance has had long-lasting influence on me.

    Thanks to his support and encouragement, I could and still can achieve my dreams in my life. If he hadn't supported me, I wouldn't be someone who I am now.



    Thanks in advance.
    Last edited by newkeenlearner; 14-Oct-2017 at 18:03.

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Why did you call it a talk?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. #3
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    It is the question: "Talk about someone who you admire in your life".

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Are you actually going to read it aloud? Is it a speech?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. #5
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Yes. I am going to memorize it. There are a lot of question that the talk above can cover them: "someone who inspires/motivates you."," someone in your family you get along well."," someone who spark your interest in your major, someone has influenced on you ", and "someone who learn you something valuable". As you can see, this talk can cover many more questions. That's why it is long. I can get many more ideas from the talk. we, as IELTS candidates, don't have enough time to prepare talks for every topic. we should be able to combine different ideas and thoughts together to do well for new topics. For this, we need to memorize phrases and sentences.
    Last edited by newkeenlearner; 14-Oct-2017 at 14:21.

  6. #6
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Quote Originally Posted by newkeenlearner View Post
    Yes. I am going to memorize it. There are a lot of questions that the talk above can cover​: them:

    "someone who inspires/motivates you"
    "someone in your family with whom you get along well"
    "someone who sparks/sparked your interest in your major"
    "someone who has influenced on you" and
    "someone who learn taught you something valuable".

    As you can see, this talk can cover many more questions ​areas. That's why it is long. I can get many more ideas from into the talk. We, as IELTS candidates, don't have enough time to prepare talks for every topic. We should be able to combine different ideas and thoughts together to do well for on new topics. For this, we need to memorize phrases and sentences.
    Note my corrections above. Are you going to give this talk in front of your IELTS tutor?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. #7
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Note my corrections above. Are you going to give this talk in front of your IELTS tutor?
    Thank you. Yes teacher.

  8. #8
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    As Ems always says, your teacher wants to see your work, not ours.

  9. #9
    newkeenlearner's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    Sorry. I thought Emsr2d2 said an IELTS examiner. Actually, I meant IELST examiner not IELST tutor. Our IELTS teachers are not knowledgeable enough to be able to correct our mistakes. I am preparing myself to give a good talk in front of an IELST examiner in a way that my talk sounds natural to get high score. Every week, I choose 3 topics and then try to get ideas from the Internet and different books. Then I try to write on my own, and record my voice and talk for 2 minutes. I do it for 10 times a day.
    Last edited by newkeenlearner; 14-Oct-2017 at 16:51.

  10. #10
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: My father is my real hero.

    I could give you some suggestions, but if you use those suggestions the final work will be a collaboration and not yours alone. Would you tell the examiner that you submitted it here first?

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