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  1. #1
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    A Taiwanese Movie, Mon Mon Mon Monsters

    Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you.

    Long Summary
    Shu-wei is a super nerd student who is a constant target for the school bullies, but he ends up joining forces with them when they encounter two demonic sisters who feast on human flesh in the middle of the night. The gang manage to capture one and relentlessly tortures the creature but the other demon is angry and starts killing anyone wearing a school uniform. They begin a sadistic game, which ultimately leads to disastrous consequences.

    Short Summary
    A group of high school students capture a mysterious monster and proceed to torture it in various ways for their own amusement, which soon ultimately leads to disastrous consequences.
    Last edited by Gaya87; 16-Oct-2017 at 09:41.

  2. #2
    tedmc is offline VIP Member
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    Re: A Taiwanese Movie, Mon Mon Mon Monsters

    They begin a sadistic game..
    I would write: A sadistic game ensues..
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. #3
    Tarheel's Avatar
    Tarheel is offline VIP Member
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    Re: A Taiwanese Movie, Mon Mon Mon Monsters

    The words "soon" and "ultimately" don't go together.

  4. #4
    Gaya87 is offline Member
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    Re: A Taiwanese Movie, Mon Mon Mon Monsters

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    The words "soon" and "ultimately" don't go together.
    Then I will omit the word "ultimately". Thank you.

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