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  1. #1
    shimacatu_sa's Avatar
    shimacatu_sa is offline VIP Member
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    Beloved old rooster

    Hi, could someone please check my writing about an old rooster below? I am writing this to practice choosing the right articles, prepositions, punctuations and tenses. I also would like to know if there are sentences that sound unnatural or juvenile. I would appreciate any advice and suggestions you could give me. Thank you.

    Beloved old rooster

    A retired couple, James and Heather, live in northern Scotland. They raise a few chickens, one rooster and three hens, in their backyard. The rooster has started showing senility since the temperature dropped significantly about three weeks ago, and it/that has become a constant worry for (to) them.

    Because the couple adapted the rooster as an adult, they don't know exactly how old he is. But he could be as old as 10 years in their estimation. He used to be active and very vocal, and (used to) enjoy running around in the fenced in chicken yard with his ladies. He even escaped from the pen numerous times seeking more freedom.

    Now that his health has deteriorated, he has been spending most of his time in the hen house. He does no longer perch nor crow. Just watching him sitting down on the ground makes James and Heather feel sad. Since the winter is harsh where they live, they replaced his bedding with fresh dry straw. Heather even put a hot-water bottle in the straw for him.

    They both know his time is coming to an end, and realize how much they love the rooster. He is not just a bird to them. Over the years, he has become their precious family member. They are not ready to let him go and pray that he would be around a little longer with them.


    Questions about the bolded words:

    Writing: How can I call the piece of writing above? I thought it is too long to call it a paragraph, but it is not an essay nor an article since I didn't state my opinions or feelings in it.

    It/That: Which one is appropriate to use in this sentence?

    To: I am unsure about the article. Is "to" also acceptable?

    Vocal: Can I use the word "vocal" to describe animals such as a bird or a cat?

    Used to: I don't think I need to repeat "used to" in this sentence, but would like to make sure that I am not wrong.



    For your information:

    I am not a student, so this is neither for homework nor an exam. The reason I write essays is to improve my English so that I sound more natural in both writing and speaking. I would like to improve my usage of words and sentence structures. While natural, clear and pleasant English is my goal, I would like to be more of a casual/relaxed speaker than a formal/stiff speaker.


    Thank you.
    Last edited by shimacatu_sa; 29-Oct-2017 at 14:02. Reason: fixing a typo

  2. #2
    shimacatu_sa's Avatar
    shimacatu_sa is offline VIP Member
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    Re: Beloved old rooster

    Hi, I would really appreciate it if someone could give me answers to some of my questions. Thank you.

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