Certain kinds/types of music can stimulate/encourage

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ambitious-girl

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Hello all,
Could you please correct these sentences?

Certain kinds of music can stimulate some negative emotions in youth such as rebellion, violence, aggression and the like. In addition, those who expose to loud music in the long term are gradually losing their hearing.

Certain types of music can encourage some negative emotions in youth such as rebellion, violence, aggression and the like. In addition, those who expose to loud music in the long time might be gradually losing their hearing.


Thank you.
 
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tedmc

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Rebellion, violence, aggressive are not emotions. I think you mean the rebellious/violent/aggressive streak in youth.

..those who [STRIKE]expose[/STRIKE] are exposed to loud music in the long term [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] gradually lose l[STRIKE]osing[/STRIKE] their hearing.
 

ambitious-girl

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It was written by a non-native teacher. Thanks for your suggestion.
How about the following?

Certain kinds/types of music can stimulate/encourage some negative behaviour in youth such as rebellion, violence, aggression and the like. In addition, those who are being exposed to loud music in the long term gradually lose their hearing.

Losing hearing is occurring gradually. It can happen over a period of time. Isn't continuous form a better option?
 

tedmc

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If it is stating a general truth, I would use the simple present tense.

The loss of hearing occurs gradually.

"Occurs gradually" implies "over a period of time".
 

Tarheel

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It was written by a non-native teacher. Thanks for your suggestion.
How about the following?

Certain kinds/types of music can stimulate/encourage some negative behaviour in youth such as rebellion, violence, aggression and the like. In addition, those who are [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] exposed to loud music in the long term gradually lose their hearing.

Loss of hearing occurs gradually. It happens over a period of time. Isn't continuous form a better option?
:)
 
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