Motivation letter master

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Aless12

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Hi could someone please check my motivation letter? I would appreciate any advice from you! thank you so much


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to apply to your Master program in Accounting and Finance, starting in September 2018. My career ambition is to work in the financial department of an international company, as controller or auditor.

I have always been interested in businesses and in the way they operate. When it came the moment to choose my secondary education’s field of study, the Diploma of “Administration, finance and marketing” was my first and only option, and then it has projected me towards the related university course. I am everyday more convinced this was the right choice for me and, being perfectly on time with my undergraduate studies, I am willing to pursue a Master program immediately after my graduation, to deepen my knowledge and to gain what I need to start my dream’s job.
I liked almost all courses I have attended, from business economics to microeconomics, from statistics to banking, business organization and business strategy; above all I have developed a keen interest in subjects like financial accounting, financial management and corporate finance, which are the pillars of your Master program. The courses you offered are specifically in line with my professional goals and the combination between theoretical foundation and practice-oriented project works, as well as the close cooperation with companies, would have a strong impact on my career.
Another reason why I am drawn to University of xx is its excellent academic reputation and the international opportunities it grants, like the yy program and the yy. I am convinced that studying abroad has become crucial for both career and personal success, as it allows you to develop a stronger and open-minded personality, to widen your horizons and to broaden your capabilities.
Moreover, studying and living in xx would give me the possibility to improve my German knowledge and to conclude my university career speaking four languages (Italian, English, French and German) and I am convinced this would be an asset for my career.
With my strong academic background, I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this program. Having the possibility to study at your university would be such a big accomplishment for me, meanwhile having the chance to build my future and possible career represents a huge milestone to reach.
Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours sincerely,
 

teechar

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Hi could someone please check my motivation letter? I would appreciate any advice from you! Thank you so much.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to apply [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for your Master [STRIKE]program[/STRIKE] in Accounting and Finance program, starting in September 2018. My career ambition is to work in the financial department of an international company, as controller or auditor.

I have always been interested in businesses and in the way they operate. When it came [STRIKE]the moment[/STRIKE] to choosing my secondary education’s field of study, the Diploma of Administration, Finance and Marketing was my first choice, [STRIKE]and only option,[/STRIKE] and that [STRIKE]then it[/STRIKE] has since led [STRIKE]projected[/STRIKE] me towards the related university course. I am [STRIKE]everyday more[/STRIKE] convinced this was the right choice for me and, being perfectly on track [STRIKE]time[/STRIKE] with my undergraduate studies, I am [STRIKE]willing[/STRIKE] eager to pursue a master's program immediately after graduating [STRIKE]my graduation,[/STRIKE] to deepen my knowledge and to gain what I need to start my dream job.

I [STRIKE]liked almost all courses I have attended,[/STRIKE] have enjoyed the broad range of subjects I have studied in my undergraduate degree, from business economics to microeconomics, from statistics to banking, business organization and business strategy; but above all, I have developed a keen interest in subjects like financial accounting, financial management and corporate finance, which are the [STRIKE]pillars[/STRIKE] core of your master's program. The courses you offer [STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] are specifically in line with my professional goals, and the combination [STRIKE]between[/STRIKE] of theoretical foundation and practice-oriented project work, as well as the close cooperation with companies, would [STRIKE]have a strong impact on[/STRIKE] be highly beneficial to my career.

Another reason why I am drawn to the University of Abc is its excellent academic reputation and the international opportunities it grants, like the yy program and the yy. I am convinced that studying abroad has become crucial [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] both for my career and personal success, as it [STRIKE]allows you[/STRIKE] would allow me to develop a [STRIKE]stronger and[/STRIKE] more open-minded personality, to widen [STRIKE]your[/STRIKE] my horizons and to [STRIKE]broaden your[/STRIKE] extend my capabilities.

Moreover, studying and living in xx would give me the possibility to improve my knowledge of German [STRIKE]knowledge[/STRIKE] and to conclude my university career speaking four languages (Italian, English, French and German), and I am convinced this would be an asset for my career.

With my strong academic background, I am confident that I am qualified and able to perform well in this program. [STRIKE]Having the possibility to[/STRIKE] Studying at your university would be such a [STRIKE]big[/STRIKE] major accomplishment for me [STRIKE]meanwhile having the chance[/STRIKE] and will help me to [STRIKE]build[/STRIKE] pursue my future [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]possible[/STRIKE] career. [STRIKE]represents a huge milestone to reach.[/STRIKE]

Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully, [STRIKE]sincerely,[/STRIKE]
I don't understand the part in blue.
 

Aless12

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Joined
Dec 26, 2017
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Student or Learner
Native Language
Italian
Home Country
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Italy
Thank you so much for your help.

With "the related university course" I tried to say "in the same subject of my previous studies".

Can I say "When it came to choosing my secondary education’s field of study, the Diploma of “Administration, Finance and Marketing” was my first option, and that has led me towards the Bachelor’s Degree in Economics and Management."?

Once again, thank you so much!
 

teechar

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Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
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Iraq
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Iraq
Can I say "When it came to choosing my secondary education’s field of study, the Diploma of “Administration, Finance and Marketing” was my first option, and that has led me towards the Bachelor’s Degree in Economics and Management which I am currently doing."?
Yes, use that.
 
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