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  1. Key Member
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 4,947

    The daughter of the well-known judge

    Would you please correct my mistakes in this short text, which I wrote as an exercise?

    The daughter of the well-known judge had been stopped by the police while walking aimlessly through the town in the early hours of the morning. She was barefoot and wore just a camisole. In a bad state and hardly able to speak, she was taken to A&E, where the blood test had proven she had taken a mixture of different drugs and alcohol.

    A few weeks before, the judge's son had been seen wobbling along the street late in the night, wearing just a pair socks and underpants, until stopped by the police officers, who called the ambulance. Again, the test showed a mixture of drugs and alcohol.

    On another occasion, the judge's wife was spotted lying in the street. Passersby tried to help her, but she was unresponsive. The ambulance was called and the woman taken to A&E, where the doctors saved her life. Even this time, the blood test showed a potent mixture of drugs and alcohol.

    The well-known judge, noted for his staunch support for the legalisation of drugs, is now in a difficult situation. How can he defend his position when the incidents with the three members of his own family prove the harmful effects of drugs on humans? Some of his colleagues who disagree with him probably hope that soon the judge is going to be found lying unconsciously in the street with a high dose of drugs in his blood.
    Last edited by Bassim; 11-Jan-2018 at 16:49.

  2. Roman55's Avatar
    Key Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
    • Posts: 2,566

    Re: The daughter of the well-known judge

    As far as actual mistakes are concerned, I think there are only two. She was barefoot and wearing... hope that soon the judge is going to be found lying unconscious... Any other criticism I might have would just be a matter of style. For instance, I would call an ambulance. And I don't like, Even this time,... I'm sure it's there to avoid repetition, but I don't think it works. The rest is good.
    I am not a teacher

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