mimosalee1129
New member
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2018
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Hello, this is a paragraph inside my motivation letter. I will be grateful if someone can help me correct my mistakes.
Besides, I feel that my expression is too cumbersome, but do not know how to simplify. So it would be better if someone could tell me how to make it simpler or more generalized.
Thank you in advance.:-D
When I take a retrospective glance at my previous years, I am proud of things I accomplished. When I was in my junior year at the University, with the deepening of professional learning, I got curiosity about laboratory work and became very interested in water pollution treatments. Therefore, I took part in the Students Research Training Program and built a team with some of my classmates. Our research project in the program is "Preparation and Study of Composite Magnetic Flocculation Materials”. As many people have figured out at this point, science is not as glamorous as it may seem. A career in science requires persistence and resilience, as a majority of what we encounter is failure. That simple idea meant tons of difficult and meticulous work, and in the first six months of our study, all our efforts were in vain. Although the results of the experiment were disappointing, our team never thought of giving up. In contrast, We became excited about the lessons learned from the failure of the experiment, the reasons it failed, and how we needed to change and adapt our approach to incorporate these lessons. And eventually, we successfully prepared a new type of composite magnetic flocculant and applied for a national patent related to “magnetic nanometer”. The program has paid off in more ways than I could have imaged. Not only has it boosted my enthusiasm for Environmental Technology and Engineering, but also taught me how to cooperate in a team, present and defend ideas and confront failure.
Besides, I feel that my expression is too cumbersome, but do not know how to simplify. So it would be better if someone could tell me how to make it simpler or more generalized.
Thank you in advance.:-D
When I take a retrospective glance at my previous years, I am proud of things I accomplished. When I was in my junior year at the University, with the deepening of professional learning, I got curiosity about laboratory work and became very interested in water pollution treatments. Therefore, I took part in the Students Research Training Program and built a team with some of my classmates. Our research project in the program is "Preparation and Study of Composite Magnetic Flocculation Materials”. As many people have figured out at this point, science is not as glamorous as it may seem. A career in science requires persistence and resilience, as a majority of what we encounter is failure. That simple idea meant tons of difficult and meticulous work, and in the first six months of our study, all our efforts were in vain. Although the results of the experiment were disappointing, our team never thought of giving up. In contrast, We became excited about the lessons learned from the failure of the experiment, the reasons it failed, and how we needed to change and adapt our approach to incorporate these lessons. And eventually, we successfully prepared a new type of composite magnetic flocculant and applied for a national patent related to “magnetic nanometer”. The program has paid off in more ways than I could have imaged. Not only has it boosted my enthusiasm for Environmental Technology and Engineering, but also taught me how to cooperate in a team, present and defend ideas and confront failure.
