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  1. Just Joined
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Morocco
      • Current Location:
      • Morocco

    • Join Date: Mar 2018
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Question Please, read proof and correct the second part of my motivation letter? thanks

    continuation of Motivation letter

    Throughout my professional career, I faced many challenges which I managed to overcome some with ease and some with humility. Having a cool head, self-confidence and a composed positive attitude are undoubtedly key traits a coach must have for effective problem solving. I remember once a gym member started yelling at me for his inability to use his favorite Abs exercise machine, I listened to his vent and then I let him know that I was sorry for him to have to deal with the inconvenience the out of order machine caused him. I could not fix the machine but I showed him couple of Abs exercises and assured him that I would pass his complaint to the manager in charge. After he calmed down and thanked me. He became a long term client and a friend!

    I have decided to apply to the MSc Sport management program at the xxxxSport University for several reasons. Firstly, it is famous for providing High Quality International Sports Education; one of eleven xxxxx Excellence Universities. Secondly, it is one of the oldest in Europe and thirdly, it is one of the National Leaders in Research Studies. By studying in courses such as Sport management, I will acquire the skills that I will need to achieve my goals and develop a successful career in this field. Moreover, I am eager to study in xxxxxx, which is known for its mild weather, rich culture and vibrant academic environment. After completing my masterÂ’s degree, I plan to begin working at a High Caliber Sports/Judo Facility, and it is my goal to eventually become a leading Sport/Judo Coach and Manager, creating and managing world class training solutions that can foster talent and turn them into world class champions. the end goal of mine is to take away my experience and expertise back home where I am planning to launch and run a successful Martial Arts and High Performance Centre. Achieving these goals, however, require that I study in a rigorous academic environment such as yours, among professors who are also leading professionals in the industry. Therefore, I consider your masterÂ’s program to be a very important step on my overall career path, and I am thus very grateful for your consideration of my application.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 11,154
    #2

    Re: Please, read proof and correct the second part of my motivation letter? thanks

    Given that the first part of your letter was over 1,000 words, I believe it is way too long. Did they not provide guidelines as to how many words to write? Do you think you can keep your letter to around 600 words?

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