[General] IELTS : General writing sample task 1:

[samanvmofid]

Please point out my mistakes for this IELTS Task.
Task:
You are studying for a qualification and you would like sometime off work to complete it.
write a letter to your manager. in letter:

• ask for sometime off to complete qualification.
• suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
• say how qualification helps your job or company.

write at least 150 words.

My answer:
"
Dear Mrs. Lee
I'm writing to inform you that I've been taking CAD classes for about two months after work and becoming ready for the CAD plan drawing Qualification. The test is on next Tuesday and I'm really exhausted after so many days of lack of sleep and constant working with computer. It would greatly help me that I have two days off work to rest and practice for the final test. I have already talked to Mr. Jones and he agreed to take over my duties during my absence.
After the test I will get to work one hour earlier and leave one hour later to catch up with the tower plan designing and will go to the project's site to control the building process on weekend. this test will ease my way to become an official designer and help to increase companies capacity to win more projects in the future.

yours sincerely,

Saman Mofid
"
Thank you in advance for taking your time and helping me with my English practise.

 

[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

When do you have to submit your homework assignment to your teacher?

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Please point out my mistakes.

Also:

Please offer corrections.

 

[samanvmofid]

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

When do you have to submit your homework assignment to your teacher?

Thanks for your help
I'm Practicing for IELTS general exam

 

[samanvmofid]

Say:

Please point out my mistakes.

Also:

Please offer corrections.

Thanks, I fixed it.
Could you offer correction for my answer?
BTW I Live in Iran and here we don't have English assignments. I'm trying to run away from this place and helping me is saving me.
thank you in advance for your help.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please point out my mistakes for this IELTS Task.
Task:
You are studying for a qualification and you would like sometime off work to complete it.
write a letter to your manager. in letter:

• ask for sometime off to complete qualification.
• suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off.
• say how qualification helps your job or company.

write at least 150 words.

My answer:
(No quotation marks here)

Dear Mrs. Lee

I'm writing to inform you that I've been taking CAD classes [STRIKE]for about two months[/STRIKE] after work for about two months, [STRIKE]and becoming ready[/STRIKE] preparing for the CAD Plan Drawing qualification.

The test is [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] next Tuesday and I'm really exhausted [STRIKE]after so many days of[/STRIKE] from a lack of sleep and constantly working with a/my computer. It would greatly help me [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] if I could have two days off work to rest and practice for the final test. I have already talked to Mr. Jones and he has agreed to take over my duties during my absence.

After the test, I will [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] come to work one hour earlier and leave one hour later to catch up with the tower plan design, [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] and I will go to the project's site to [STRIKE]control[/STRIKE] check/supervise the building process [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] at the weekend/at weekends.

This test will [STRIKE]ease my way to[/STRIKE] improve my prospects of becoming an official designer, and will help to increase [STRIKE]companies[/STRIKE] the company's capacity to win more projects in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Saman Mofid

(no quotation marks here)

[STRIKE]Thank you in advance for taking your time and helping me with my English practise.[/STRIKE] Unnecessary. Thank us after we help you.

See my suggested changes above.

With regard to your comments in post #5, you might want to avoid making it public that you are planning to flee your country. I don't want to sound paranoid but you never know who's watching!

I would disagree with your claim that there are no English assignments in Iran. It is possible to learn English at formal classes in Iran and the teachers of those classes would give homework assignments to their students.

 

[samanvmofid]

See my suggested changes above.

With regard to your comments in post #5, you might want to avoid making it public that you are planning to flee your country. I don't want to sound paranoid but you never know who's watching!

I would disagree with your claim that there are no English assignments in Iran. It is possible to learn English at formal classes in Iran and the teachers of those classes would give homework assignments to their students.

Thank you for your help and considerations.
You're right about assignments. There are unofficial English institutions but I'm practicing on my own hence I've planed to post a lot of writing exercises. I was wondering if there is a policy about limitations of post for learners on this forum.

 

[Tarheel]

"Thank you for your help" is fine, but you might want to forget the word considerations.

There is no limit to the number of posts, but I suggest that you post one or two things then wait for the answers before posting more.

Please make your posts brief and your questions clear.

Please pay close attention to any suggestions/corrections.

Please do not change anything in the original post after you have received responses.

That is all!