[Essay] Motivation Letter Proofread

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narminabdullayeva

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Mar 22, 2018
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Azerbaijan
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Good evening,

I need help for proofreading my motivation letter for master program abroad.

Below is my motivation letter.


Dear Sir/Madam,
It is my greatest ambition to become a public administrator and help the development and good governance of my country; therefore I am applying for the Public Administration master program at your university.
Thanks to 4 years of studying bachelor degree in the field of public affairs, I decided to devote myself to studying in this direction for further years which would be an immeasurable addition to my knowledge and experience.
My years of study at ADA University (Azerbaijan Diplomatic Academy) and the classes I took related to Politics, Public Management and Public Policy Analysis hold a light over my education and helped me to expand my boundaries with real world around me and enriched me by giving special opportunities in different fields. These years made me explore the interactive relationship between community, government and also the environment they are surrounded and this conflictive and interesting bond drove me inside itself.
As the university offers a highly international study, gaining knowledge about different cultures and interactive classes held would be an addition to the knowledge I have learned. Having the chance of meeting the students all around the world would certainly be an extremely valuable experience and I believe that all these great opportunities are among the milestones for being advanced in the field of public administration.
I have always been in the thought of being a very successful person with a very good career helping me to stand on my own feet without asking for others’ help and to draw a bright path in my life that would be able to open a door for any opportunities encountered throughout my life. Till the time of my admission to ADA University, my education has not been at the intended level of quality because of low level proficiency of education in the region of Azerbaijan I lived and ADA helped me to reach to the level where I was able to explore my real potential. This master program I am applying for will be the second chance for me to prove my skills, abilities and most importantly, to prove myself. I have a strong belief that the possible challenges I will meet during the master program will prepare me for the real life obstacles and will assist me to become successful. And I hold the hope of becoming an important public administrator for my country once I would be able to be admitted to and successfully graduated from this program and this way, being able to serve for the future development of my native country.
I am a student who is diligent, very responsible, and determined. The academic background I have gained during my bachelor degree gives me confidence to be able to qualify for this master program and I hope that my strong desire of studying would be helpful in your decision. Alongside with it, it would give me courage to perform well during my education at your university and to give a significant contribution to the society I will be serving in the future.
Thank you very much for considering my application. I am looking forward to your positive response.
Yours Sincerely,
Narmin Abdullayeva.


I just need your brief comments on it.What should I change,what could i do in order to improve it.Thank you very much in advance.
 

emsr2d2

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Please add a line break between each paragraph. At the moment, it is just a huge block of text. That was enough to stop me reading it.
 
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