[Essay] ‘The most important thing about a job is the money it brings you.’ Discuss.

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EDarcy

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It is not one of my best ones, but I will be very thankful If you check it.


It is often claimed that the salary is the most essential part of any job. It cannot be denied that the financial benefits from a profession have immense meaning for people. However, sometimes money is not enough and humans need other things, which can also be categorized as ‘important’, in their occupations.

To begin with, jobs are considered by the majority of people only an instrument for earning money for pleasing their needs. That is why most people are convinced that their salary is the most important part of their job. By using the money they have earned, for example, workers can buy whatever they want; they can travel around the world; afford luxurious possessions and ensure their family’s well-being and life. For these reasons, the idea that it is money that is most important in a job is supported by many people.

On the other hand, there are people who search for things money cannot buy in their professional field. Such workers need recognition for what they have achieved in their professional career. To exemplify, teachers do not work only for money. They also have a cause and want to be appreciated for what they have done in the name of education. Similar examples can also be given from other professional spheres such as medicine, psychology or literature. All these professions and professional fields have something in common – their workers require recognition and respect and do not deem money as the only important factor in a job.

After having considered the two main views on whether money people earn from their jobs is the most important aspect of any job or not, it seems reasonable to conclude that vast majority of people support this statement. However, there are a few people who believe that there are things which are superior to money in a professional aspect.
 

teechar

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It is not one of my best ones, but I will be very thankful if you check it.


It is often claimed that the salary is the most [Strike]essential[/Strike] important [“essential” suggests something necessary for another to function] part of any job. It cannot be denied that the financial remuneration [Strike]benefits from a profession have immense meaning[/Strike] is an important aspect of work for people. However, sometimes money is not everything [STRIKE]enough[/STRIKE] and humans need other things, which can also be [Strike]categorized as[/Strike] considered ‘important’, in their occupations.


To begin with, jobs are considered by the majority of people only an instrument for earning money [Strike]for pleasing[/Strike] to satisfy their needs. That is why most people are convinced that their salary is the most important [Strike]part[/Strike] aspect of their job. By using the money they have earned, for example, workers can buy [Strike]whatever[/Strike] the products and services they want; or they can travel around the world, afford luxurious possessions and ensure their family’s well-being and happiness. [Strike]life.[/Strike] [Strike]For these reasons, the idea that it is money that is most important in a job is supported by many people.[/Strike] [That's just repetitive]


On the other hand, there are people who value other aspects in a job, not just the salary. [Strike]search for things money cannot buy in their professional field.[/Strike] Such workers need recognition for what they have achieved in their professional career. To exemplify, teachers do not work only for the money. [Strike]They also have a cause[/Strike] To many, teaching is a vocation, and [Strike]want to[/Strike] they value being appreciated for their efforts. [Strike]what they have done in the name of education.[/Strike] Similar examples can also be given from other professional spheres such as medicine, psychology or literature. All these professions [Strike]and professional fields[/Strike] have something in common – their workers [Strike]require[/Strike] highly appreciate recognition and respect and do not deem money as the only important factor in a job.


After having considered the two main views on whether money people earn from their jobs is the most important aspect of any job or not, it seems reasonable to conclude that vast majority of people support this statement. However, there are a few people who believe that there are things which are superior to money in a professional aspect. [That's not well written, and I'm not sure what its purpose is.]
 

EDarcy

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I tried to conclude both of the positions but I did't do it well.
 

teechar

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Use the following structure:
Even though [main findings (not generalities) of first body paragraph], [main findings (not generalities) of second body paragraph].
 
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