[Grammar] A couple of blocks away

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Nikitus

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Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"A couple of blocks away, the hobo, who at that moment was ordering the suitcase where he kept some things that connected him with his past life, spotted Tim, who had a strange way of walking, dragging his feet, with an expression to be lost, disoriented and aimless in the world."

Thanks.
 

emsr2d2

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"ordering the suitcase" doesn't work. It sounds like he was putting an order in at a shop or online, to buy a suitcase. Do you mean he was arranging/rearranging/tidying the contents?

"with an expression to be" is wrong. Try again.
 

Nikitus

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Dear emrs2d2:

First of all, thanks for your help (and happy Star Wars day, "May the fourth be with you")

"A couple of blocks away, the hobo, who at that moment was rearranging the travel bag where he kept some things that connected him with his past life, spotted Tim, who had a strange way of walking, dragging his feet, with an expression on his face that seemed to indicate he was lost, disoriented and aimless in the world."
 

emsr2d2

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There was nothing wrong with "suitcase" (as long as it actually was a suitcase). It's clearer than "travel bag".
 
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