[Essay] A Chinese scholar

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It's my translation of a review about a past scholar. I'm not sure whether it's grammatically correct and native speakers can understand it.

Overall, Wu Cheng was mostly under the influence of Zhu Xi. Subjectively,he also appointed himself to continue the study of Zhu Xi school. But Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias, compared to other ordinary Zhu Xi-school scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was estimable. Wu Cheng absorbed Confucian heritage from Song dynasty comprehensively, synthesized and developed with his own opinion. He had cultural accomplishment in many aspects. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics,he also covered a wide range of subjects in astronomy, geography, medicine and divination etc. His poems and essays were delicate,graceful,elegance and magnificent in various styles. Speaking of the extensive knowledge, predecessors believed that only Wu Cheng can compete with Zhu Xi after Zhu Xi’s time.
 

tedmc

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I think this should go to the Editing and Writing section of the forum.
The placement of the commas is unusual.
 

Matthew Wai

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The OP has used four Chinese commas.
 

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I think this should go to the Editing and Writing section of the forum.
The placement of the commas is unusual.

Thanks for your suggestion. Should I close this thread after putting it to Editing and Writing section of the forum?
I should have noticed those commas.
 

Matthew Wai

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A moderator will move it there.
 

Tdol

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Moved.

Can native speakers follow it? It is fairly specialised stuff, so a lot of the information flashes by. I have minimal knowledge of Confucius, have heard of the Song dynasty, and know nothing of the rest of the cultural points. I am not trying to be critical for the sake of it, but the content flies past a bit like this:

https://desertdemocrat.files.wordpr...oon-what-we-say-to-dogs-blah-blah-ginger.jpeg

I honestly think that this is a piece where the opinions of Asians who speak good English would be better than mine.
 

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I am no expert in Chinese culture or philosophy but here is my attempt to make the passage more readable:

Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to continue the study of (at the?) Zhu Xi School. But Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias compared to the average Zhu Xi School scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was expected. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also contributed his knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificient. His successors/contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.
 

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I am no expert in Chinese culture or philosophy but here is my attempt to make the passage more readable:

Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to continue the study of (at the?) Zhu Xi School. But Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias compared to the average Zhu Xi School scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was expected. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also contributed his knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificient. His successors/contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.

Your version is much better and logical than mine. I just translated it literally, but you made it sound understandable. Thank you! I made a little change based on your correction.

In general, Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to extend Zhu Xi School. But Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias compared to the average Zhu Xi School scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was rare and commendable. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also contributed his knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificent. His contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.
 

Tdol

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It does read better now.
 

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In general, Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to [STRIKE]extend[/STRIKE] develop Zhu Xi's school of thought, but Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias [STRIKE]compared to[/STRIKE] than the average Zhu Xi [STRIKE]School[/STRIKE] scholar during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was rare and commendable. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also [STRIKE]contributed[/STRIKE] used his knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine and divination to promote Zhu Xi's ideas. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificent. His contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.
Does that work?
 

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Thank you! "school of thought" should be the proper word. Other scholars also studied Zhu Xi's school of thought, but they had bias. Wu didn't use his other knowledge to promote Zhu Xi's ideas. So I did a few change.


In general, Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to develop Zhu Xi’s school of thought, but Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias than other average Zhu Xi scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was rare and commendable. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also had knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificent. His contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.
 
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teechar

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Thank you! "school of thought" [STRIKE]should be[/STRIKE] is the right phrase. [STRIKE]proper word.[/STRIKE] Other scholars also [STRIKE]studied[/STRIKE] followed Zhu Xi's school of thought, but they had bias. Wu didn't use his [STRIKE]other[/STRIKE] knowledge to promote Zhu Xi's ideas. So I [STRIKE]did[/STRIKE] made a few changes.


In general, Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to develop Zhu Xi’s school of thought, but Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias than some ordinary [STRIKE]other average[/STRIKE] Zhu Xi scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was rare and commendable. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also had knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificent. His contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.
Try that.
 

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Two things. If you are going to use the word "magnificent" you don't need the other adjectives. Also, say: "extensive knowledge of that era".
 

teechar

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Two things. If you are going to use the word "magnificent" you don't need the other adjectives.
I can see your point, but I think that combination of adjectives is acceptable.

Also, say: "extensive knowledge of that era".
That's a good point, but of course the meaning would potentially change. I wonder which one the OP meant.
 

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Thank you! "school of thought" should be the proper word. Other scholars also studied Zhu Xi's school of thought, but they had bias. Wu didn't use his other knowledge to promote Zhu Xi's ideas. So I did a few change.


In general, Wu Cheng's philosophy was mostly influenced by Zhu Xi. The former undertook to develop Zhu Xi’s school of thought, but Wu Cheng had less sectarian bias than other average Zhu Xi scholars during the late Song dynasty and early Yuan dynasty, which was rare and commendable. Wu Cheng embraced Confucian heritage fully from the Song dynasty, and developed it with his own input. In addition to his proficiency in Confucian classics, he also had knowledge in a wide range of subjects such as astronomy, geography, medicine and divination. His poems and essays were polished, graceful, elegant and magnificent. His contemporaries believed that only Wu Cheng could match Zhu Xi in terms of having extensive knowledge during that era.

he also appointed himself to continue the study of Zhu Xi school.

What you wrote in your original text about Wu Cheng continuing his studies at the Zhu Xi school is completely different to saying that he was to "develop a school of thought" laid down by Zhu Xi.
 

teechar

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To the OP: are you talking about an actual physical school?
 

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1. The original text wants to express that Wu thought himself as a scholar whose thoughts was the extension of Zhu Xi's school of thought. I misused the word "school" as "the school of thought" .
2. What does OP mean? e.g. I wonder which one the OP meant.
3. I guess during that era is better. The source language said after Zhu Xi passed away, only Wu could match Zhu.
 

Matthew Wai

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You are the original poster, the OP.
 

teechar

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Then use "school of thought" and "during that era".
 
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