[Essay] A translation of archaic Chinese fable

[cheesecloth]

I have been learning English by self-teaching since my youth. But still I have no confidence on my writing. Here is a translation I just made from a Chinese fable. I wish an English teacher could help check it and tell me where and how I can improve my language skill.
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The Death of Central King
By Zhuang Zhou
Traslated by Chine Green

Smart was the South King, and Swift was the North King; while the Central King was Obscure.
Smart and Swift often visited Obscure's kindom together and were always cordially welcomed and
treated by Obscure.

Now Smart and Swift felt they would have to reciprocate Obscure's loving kindness and they
discussed it: "All the others have their own 7 apertures on the head so as to be able to see, to listen,
to eat and to breath; but only Obscure has nothing there. Let's try to help him dig out some."
So they worked on opening holes into Obscure, one each day. By the 7th day of their effort,
Obscure died.

Those who voluntarily achieve achieve none.

 

[tedmc]

I have been learning English by self-teaching since my youth. But [STRIKE]still[/STRIKE] I still have no confidence [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in my writing. Here is a translation I just [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] did from a Chinese fable. I wish an English teacher could help check it and tell me where and how I can improve my language skills.
_____________________________________
The Death of Central King
By Zhuang Zhou
Traslated by Chine Green

Smart was the South King, and Swift was the North King; while the Central King was Obscure.
(This is rather abrupt for a story, even a fairy tale. What do you mean by such arbitrary names as South King, North King and Central King?)

Smart and Swift often visited Obscure's kindom together and were always cordially welcomed and
treated well by Obscure.

Now Smart and Swift felt they [STRIKE]would have[/STRIKE] had to reciprocate Obscure's [STRIKE]loving[/STRIKE] kindness and they
discussed it: "[STRIKE]All the others[/STRIKE] All the people [STRIKE]have their own[/STRIKE] had [STRIKE]7[/STRIKE] seven apertures on their head so as to be able to see, to listen,
to eat and to breath; but only Obscure [STRIKE]has nothing there[/STRIKE] did not. Let's try to help him [STRIKE]dig out some[/STRIKE] create them."
So they worked on opening holes into Obscure, one each day. By the 7th day [STRIKE]of their effort[/STRIKE],
Obscure died.

Those who [STRIKE]voluntarily[/STRIKE] make a conscious effort to achieve something [STRIKE]achieve none[/STRIKE] are bound to fail. (This doesn't sound logical though)