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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Tamil
      • Home Country:
      • Sri Lanka
      • Current Location:
      • United Arab Emirates

    • Join Date: May 2018
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    I am writing regarding why I travel

    please check if the grammar is ok

    May 23,2018
    Dear Sir,

    I am writing regarding why I travel and visit the exhibition, while acceding and agree with your valuable
    idea vehemently.
    I have been in the idea and desire of that the exhibition which has been the biggest event of printing
    industry of the world must be visited since I commenced my professional career as well as that this
    exhibition must have been visited is only one dream of professional printer of the industry.
    That the European machines manufactures who had realized the circumstance of that the Newspaper
    industry deteriorates and collapse before the Asian countries confront and deal with this situation are
    frequently developing the Web-printing presses in the innovation of modern and sophisticated
    technologies is the tendency, compared with the Sheet-feed presses comparatively since the printing
    industry has been at the 4

    th place among other industries and profession of the world in the streamline

    of revolution and evolution.
    On the contrary, that I visit and travel to Germany would be able to add-up the valuve to my passport as
    I had been deprived of an opportunity to fly to Fiji Island towards an avocation in 2011.
    My expectation has been the involvement and participation with the conferences which are conducted
    by the experts of industry in an effort to realize pertaining to how to confront and deal with the current
    circumstance of industry in the business strategy of modern technology on my capacity of that I pursued
    the MBA degree, excluding the professional qualification of printing technology.
    Having participated with exhibition almost 3 days, that I have to schedule visiting the Berlin Wall, Gas
    Penitentiary of Adolf Hitler and a few places within 2 days.
    I who suppose as if the information of my itinerary were sufficient, enough to realize my purpose
    believe with regard to that you would be indulgent to consider in this respect. Thank.

    Your Sincerely
    [personal details removed]
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 28-May-2018 at 09:26. Reason: Improved thread title and moved original title to body of post

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,960
    #2

    Re: I am writing regarding why I travel

    Too many of your sentences don't make any sense. I suggest that you rewrite that using shorter, simpler sentences. Your goal should be clarity. As it is it s hard to understand what you are trying to say.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
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      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 45,300
    #3

    Re: I am writing regarding why I travel

    Also, please make sure that your lines of text stretch all the way across to the right-hand side of the box. Only move to a new line when you want to start a new paragraph.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Key Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,746
    #4

    Re: I am writing regarding why I travel

    I am writing regarding why I travel and visit the exhibition, while acceding and agree with your valuable
    idea vehemently.

    This sentence assumes the reader knows what "exhibition" and "idea" you are talking about. Where do you travel to? "Accede(usually used with "to") and "agree" mean the same thing.
    I am lost as to what you are trying to say after the first sentence.
    I am not a teacher.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 45,300
    #5

    Re: I am writing regarding why I travel

    Post 1 sounds remarkably like the kind of gibberish that Google Translate comes up with. Roachwickey, did you write the whole thing (in English) yourself?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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