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  1. Nikitus's Avatar
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    #1

    Unable to hide his disappointment

    Hello.

    Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

    "Unable to hide his disappointment at Chuck's advice, he preferred to leave the place without saying goodbye, and arrive as soon as possible at home to lie on his bed, since the disbelief that showed that person who considered a wise man after listening affected even more his fragile mental state."

    Thanks.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikitus View Post
    "since the disbelief that showed that person who considered a wise man after listening affected even more his fragile mental state."

    Thanks.
    It's hard to tell the meaning of the above. What exactly affected his fragile state? It would have to be "the disbelief that showed that person who considered a wise man after listening". But I can't work out a meaning for that.

  3. Key Member
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    #3

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Whose disbelief? Who considered who a wise man?
    After listening to what?
    Why is "arrive" in the present tense?
    There is too much to be put in a sentence. There are too many unknowns for it to make sense.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #4

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    You started by asking 'Are the following sentences grammatically correct?' and then quoted a single, convoluted sentence. Did you write it yourself?

  5. Nikitus's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    It's hard to tell the meaning of the above. What exactly affected his fragile state? It would have to be "the disbelief that showed that person who considered a wise man after listening". But I can't work out a meaning for that.
    Dear Raymott: Thanks for your help

    After telling his friend Chuck that a ghost visited him, he was even more affected when he realized that Chuck did not believe him.

    So, about: The disbelief that showed that person who considered a wise man after listening, you are right.

  6. Nikitus's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    Whose disbelief? Who considered who a wise man?, Yes

    After listening to what?

    He told to his friend Chuck that a ghost visited him

    Why is "arrive" in the present tense?

    It was my mistake. "he preferred to leave the place without saying goodbye, and arrived as soon as possible at home to lie on his bed."

    There is too much to be put in a sentence. There are too many unknowns for it to make sense.
    Yes, you are right.

  7. Nikitus's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post
    You started by asking 'Are the following sentences grammatically correct?' and then quoted a single, convoluted sentence. Did you write it yourself?
    Yes, I wroted my myself. I agree that I need more sentences.

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikitus View Post
    Yes, I wroted wrote my it myself.
    Take more care with your posts please. I'm sure you would have noticed those errors if you had read your text again before actually posting it.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. Nikitus's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    This is my attempt to rewrite the sentences:

    "Unable to hide his disappointment at Chuck's advice, Tim left the place without saying goodbye, and arrived as soon as possible to his home to lie on his bed, since the disbelief that showed Chuck, who considered a wise man after listening his experience, affected even more his fragile mental state."

    Thanks.

    Thanks.

  10. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Unable to hide his disappointment

    That's still too long for one sentence, and there are errors.

    Unable to hide his disappointment at Chuck's reaction, Tim left without saying goodbye and went home to lie down as quickly as possible. Chuck's disbelief had really affected his fragile mental state, especially since he had considered Chuck a wise man.

    (Not believing a story about a ghost doesn't show that Chuck isn't wise. It just shows that he is sceptical.)
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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