Please help me to correct this letter for my future host family

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Saskaa

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2018
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Slovak
Home Country
Slovak Republic
Current Location
Slovak Republic
Dear host family!
I am really looking forward to being a member of your family, but firstly I would like to introduce myself. My name is XX, but my friends and family call me XX. I am 16 years old, but by the time of my arrival I will be almost 17. I was born on .... in ....., which is a small town in the middle of ..... .I was brought up in ..... and since I was three years old, I have lived in ....... - capital city of ......

I have been dreaming about my year abroad ever since I was a little girl. The English language is my favourite language, and that is why, I want to fulfill my dream of studying abroad by living in ..... Besides English, I learn the German language too. I am visiting an institute, where I can on the other hand improve my language skills in the German language. In addition to the that I can say, that it is also my hobby.

When speaking about hobbies, I really like to dance. I have been visiting dance lessons since my pre-school years. I cannot imagine the world without music. What I like more than dancing is singing. I like to sing wherever and whenever (of course not in public :)). Unfortunately, I cannot sing. I am quite talky, but sometimes I like to be alone and simply read a book. That is my another passion - reading books. I like to watch series as well, however, I have watched just three whole series during my life. My favourite TV-show is called Friends. I can watch it over and over again and I will never find it boring :). I am not worried about my adaptability, because I can form new friendships quite easily. Nevertheless, I prefer a couple of true best friends, rather than 200 followers on Instagram with no best friend :). I am a really calm person. My grandma has got a big yard in a village, and I use to read books under the trees and relax. I cannot say that I am only phlegmatic. I can get really stressed out before some special exams... But I think it is normal to be sometimes nervous. I have one dog - Boston terrier. I love her very much. She is my little “cutworm.” So naturally, I like taking her for a walk or being in nature.

I live with my mum and we have a really good relationship. So I believe, that my host family and I would get along pretty well and I am truly looking forward to it. What is more, I have a good relationship with all the members of my family. I love them very much. Since I am the only child, I consider my cousins as my sisters. They are in my age, and we used to do everything together and even now we go on vacations or spent time during the holidays together.

I literally love to travel, however, and hope to never stop doing it. I enjoy meeting new people, cultures and relax on the beaches. So far this year, I have been with my father on a sightseeing tour through Andalusia and Portugal. With my mother, I have been to Thailand, Croatia and with my cousins, we have been to London. What is more, I was on a boat trip with my best friend. It was amazing, especially because I have never been on a boat before and I consider it as a lifetime experience. I really liked every destination I have visited so far this year and I am looking forward to exploring England while studying there.

Now I am studying in a Secondary Grammar school in .... I am in the 11[SUP]th[/SUP]year, and I am really hard-working. I have already made a studding plan, where I want to study. After my year abroad, I would like to study at an IB school in .... and then I want to continue my studies at university abroad. So I am really ambitious :). I like to learn new things and study, so I am really curious about the educational system outside my home country. I am choosing only academic subjects and I am hoping for an advancement in my education. I have chosen ... all by myself because I find the city really nice. I like the architecture of this picturesque city.

I am very excited about the upcoming year and I hope that we will spend an unforgettable time next year together.

Yours faithfully,
XX
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Dear host family!
I am really looking forward to being a member of your family, but [STRIKE]firstly[/STRIKE] ​first I would like to introduce myself. My name is XX, but my friends and family call me XX. I am 16 years old, but by the time [STRIKE]of my arrival[/STRIKE] ​I arrive I will be almost 17. I was born on .... in ....., which is a small town in the middle of ..... .I was brought up in ..... and since I was three years old, I have lived in ....... - capital city of ......

I have been dreaming about my year abroad ever since I was a little girl. [STRIKE]The[/STRIKE] English [STRIKE]language[/STRIKE] is my favourite language, and that is why (no comma here) I want to fulfill my dream of studying abroad by living in ..... Besides English, I learn [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] German [STRIKE]language[/STRIKE] too. I am [STRIKE]visiting[/STRIKE] studying at an institute, where I can [STRIKE]on the other hand[/STRIKE] not only improve my [STRIKE]language skills in the[/STRIKE] German [STRIKE]language.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]In addition to the that I can say, that it is also[/STRIKE] but also practise my hobby. (This is OK if learning languages is your hobby.)

[STRIKE]When speaking about[/STRIKE] On the subject of hobbies, I really like to dance. I have been [STRIKE]visiting[/STRIKE] taking dance lessons since my pre-school years. I cannot imagine the world without music. What I like more than dancing is singing. I like to sing wherever and whenever (of course not in public!) [STRIKE]:)[/STRIKE]. Unfortunately, I cannot sing. I am quite [STRIKE]talky[/STRIKE] talkative, but sometimes I like to be alone and simply read a book. That is [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] another one of my passions - reading books.

I like to watch TV series as well. However, I have watched just three whole series [STRIKE]during[/STRIKE] in my [whole] life. My favourite TV (no hyphen here) show is called Friends. I can watch it over and over again and I [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] never find it boring. [STRIKE]:).[/STRIKE] I am not worried about my adaptability, because I can form new friendships quite easily. Nevertheless, I prefer to have a couple of true best friends, rather than 200 followers on Instagram [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] and no best friend. [STRIKE]:).[/STRIKE] I am a really calm person. My grandma has got a big yard in a village, and I used to read books under the trees [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] to relax. I cannot say that I am [STRIKE]only[/STRIKE] phlegmatic. I can get really stressed out before some [STRIKE]special[/STRIKE] important exams but I think it is normal to be [STRIKE]sometimes[/STRIKE] nervous sometimes.

I have [STRIKE]one[/STRIKE] a dog - a Boston terrier. I love her very much. She is my little “cutworm." The underlined word means nothing in English. So, naturally, I like taking her for a walk or being in nature.

I live with my mum and we have a really good relationship. [STRIKE]What is more,[/STRIKE] In fact, I have a good relationship with all the members of my family. I love them very much.So I believe (no comma here) that my host family and I [STRIKE]would[/STRIKE] will get along pretty well and I am truly looking forward to it. Since I am [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] an only child, I consider my cousins to be as close as my sisters. They are [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] around my age, and we used to do everything together. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] Even now we go on vacations or spent time during the holidays together.

I [STRIKE]literally[/STRIKE] love to travel [STRIKE], however,[/STRIKE] and hope to never stop doing it. I enjoy meeting new people, exploring new cultures and relaxing on the [STRIKE]beaches[/STRIKE] beach. So far this year, I have been [STRIKE]with my father[/STRIKE] on a sightseeing tour through Andalusia and Portugal with my father. With my mother, I have been to Thailand and Croatia, and with my cousins, [STRIKE]we[/STRIKE] I have been to London. [STRIKE]What is more,[/STRIKE] I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] have been on a boat trip with my best friend. It was amazing, especially because I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had never been on a boat before and I consider it [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] to be [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the experience of a lifetime. [STRIKE]experience.[/STRIKE] I really liked every destination I have visited so far this year and I am looking forward to exploring England while studying there.

Now I am studying in a Secondary Grammar school in .... I am in the 11[SUP]th[/SUP]year, and I am really hard-working. I have already made a [STRIKE]studding[/STRIKE] study plan, where I want to study. The underlined sentence doesn't make sense. After my year abroad, I would like to study at an IB school in .... and then I want to continue my studies at university abroad. [STRIKE]So[/STRIKE] I am really ambitious. [STRIKE]:).[/STRIKE] I like to learn new things and study, so I am really curious about the [STRIKE]educational[/STRIKE] education system outside my home country. I am choosing only academic subjects and I am hoping [STRIKE]for an advancement in[/STRIKE] to advance my education. I have chosen ... [STRIKE]all by[/STRIKE] myself because I [STRIKE]find[/STRIKE] think the city is really nice and I like the architecture. [STRIKE]of this picturesque city. [/STRIKE]

I am very excited about the upcoming year and I hope that we will spend an unforgettable time together next year. [STRIKE]together.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]Yours faithfully,[/STRIKE] Too formal for this context.
XX

See above.
 

Raymott

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 29, 2008
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
English
Home Country
Australia
Current Location
Australia
Saskaa, while emsr2d2 has given you a good correction, your host family is interested in knowing about you. They are going to be surprised knowing that you are not as fluent in English as you have pretended to be. I'd advise you to learn from the corrections, but send the original. Others might disagree.
 
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