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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Suggestion letter review

    I was asked to send a letter on what could be improved for the company's website (it's related to job application) so I went on and wrote the letter in points and using my own words, can you please tell me if there are any mistakes/ the points idea is wrong..etc?

    Subject: Personalsuggestions

    Dear Mr XXX
    I am writing thisletter to suggest you some improvement in the companyís website from my pointof view pointing them out one by one.
    1-Iíll start offwith with a simple addition of adding Night mode, that detects the IP addressof the viewer, depending on his time zone the background becomes black and morenight-friendly. Or add the option of changing the colors after running the samelayout for months, it is nice to update such small areas and catch repeatvisitors by surprise!
    2-Displaying thepossibility of viewing from the mobile application
    After browsing thewebsite for a little bit. It would be nice to find a blank space of yourcountry code and mobile number to fill in order to send you a link to downloadthe app, simply it eases notifications you want to send to the customer such asoffers, new services. Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline thelatest itineraries aswell as consuming less data when online, a study has foundthat users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.
    3-Reviews
    There are a bunchof the independent service rating reviews but adding pictures tweets or uniqueexperiences of travelers would interest a first time visitor, Thereís alreadysome nice reviews on Trip Advisor but arenít featured on the website.
    4-Currencyconverters
    The maincurrencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, China Chinese Yuan ,Japanese Yen .and many more would help more viewers from around different partsof the world to quickly know if their budget is suitable
    5-The searchengine
    Itís only limitedto country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such aseco-tourism, cultural visit, leisure purpose visit should be considerable
    6-The Careerssection
    thereís an e-mailto send your resume but thereís a form to fill that is mandatory to put in a date,number of adults and has an option to tick for vacation package, I believe itísnot the right place but rather the form should be changed into requiring thebasic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.
    7- XXX Tours FAQ
    In section 14 itísabout remarkable sights/activities yet food is mentioned twice, adding a differentvisually informative section for the cuisine & restaurants thatcooperate with Memphis wouldnít be too bad.
    8-Weather
    Addinginformation about weather would be important. The average degrees, highestand lowest. Imagine also if thereís a very small popup that tells the Celsius degreein Cairo right now as the viewer browses.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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      • Iraq
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    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,176
    #2

    Re: Suggestion letter review

    Quote Originally Posted by KelThuzad View Post
    (it's related to job application)
    Is this real or hypothetical?
    Also, please edit your letter to insert spaces between words. Finally, write in a clear and direct manner. Post the revised version below.

  3. Newbie
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      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
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      • Egypt
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      • Egypt

    • Join Date: Mar 2018
    • Posts: 12
    #3

    Re: Suggestion letter review

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Is this real or hypothetical?
    Also, please edit your letter to insert spaces between words. Finally, write in a clear and direct manner. Post the revised version below.
    It's indirectly real, They just want to evaluate how good my writing is before I get hired. (I've done other tasks and passed)

    Sorry copypasting it from the word document messed it a little bit, it should be fine now.

    Subject: Personal suggestions

    Dear Mr. XXX

    I am writing this letter to suggest you some improvement in the company’s website from my point of view pointing them out one by one.

    1-I’ll start off with a simple addition of adding Night mode, that detects the IP address of the viewer, depending on his time zone the background becomes black and more night-friendly. Or add the option of changing the colors after running the same layout for months, it is nice to update such small areas and catch repeat visitors by surprise!

    2-Displaying the possibility of viewing from the mobile application
    After browsing the website for a little bit. It would be nice to find a blank space of your country code and mobile number to fill in order to send you a link to download the app, simply it eases notifications you want to send to the customer such as offers, new services.

    Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline the latest itineraries as well as consuming less data when online, a study has found that users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.

    3-Reviews
    There are a bunch of the independent service rating reviews but adding pictures tweets or unique experiences of travelers would interest a first time visitor, There’s already some nice reviews on Trip Advisor but aren’t featured on the website.

    4-Currency converters
    The main currencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, China Chinese Yuan , Japanese Yen .and many more would help more viewers from around different parts of the world to quickly know if their budget is suitable

    5-The search engine
    It’s only limited to country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such as eco-tourism, cultural visit, leisure purpose visit should be considerable

    6-The Careers section
    there’s an e-mail to send your resume but there’s a form to fill that is mandatory to put in a date, number of adults and has an option to tick for vacation package, I believe it’s not the right place but rather the form should be changed into requiring the basic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.

    7-XXX Tours FAQ
    In section 14 it’s about remarkable sights/activities yet food is mentioned twice, adding a different visually informative section for the Egyptian cuisine & restaurants that cooperate with Memphis wouldn’t be too bad.

    8-Weather
    Adding information about the weather would be important. The average degrees, highest and lowest. Imagine also if there’s a very small popup that tells the Celsius degree in Cairo right now as the viewer browses.





    Yours Truly,
    XXX

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Suggestion letter review

    If your prospective employers want to see how good your writing is, do you really think it's fair to send them a letter that's partly been written by us?
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 02-Feb-2019 at 08:48.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Newbie
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Egypt
      • Current Location:
      • Egypt

    • Join Date: Mar 2018
    • Posts: 12
    #5

    Re: Suggestion letter review

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    If your prospective employers want to see how good your writing is, do you really think it's fair to send them a letter that's partly been written by us?

    I have already wrote the suggestions needed، atleast you could help me with any error or evaluate the letter, don't worry its not the only decider as they evaluate other tasks aswell nor in competition of writing with other candidates. I'd appreciate any advice..

  6. teechar's Avatar
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      • English
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,176
    #6

    Re: Suggestion letter review

    Subject: Personal Website improvement Suggestions


    Dear Mr. XXX,


    I am writing this letter to outline some suggestions on how Naturosoft's [insert actual company name instead]you some improvement in the company¬’s website can be improved. from my point of view pointing them out one by one.


    1- I¬’ll I would start off with a simple addition of adding a night mode feature. That detects the IP address of the viewer and, depending on his their time zone, the background becomes black and more night-friendly. Or Alternatively, we can add the option of changing the colors after running instead of being stuck with the same layout for months. It is would be nice to update such small areas graphical details and catch repeat visitors by surprise!


    2- Displaying the possibility of viewing from the Designing a mobile version of the site or even a suitable application.
    After browsing the website for a little bit. It would be nicealso helpful to find a blank space of your for a user's country code and mobile number to fill in order to send you them a link to download the app, simply it eases which can deliver notifications you want to send to the customer on matters such as offers or new services.


    Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline the latest itineraries as well as consuming less data when online, a study has found that users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.


    3-Reviews
    There are plenty a bunch of the independent service ratingagencies that also provide reviews, but adding pictures, tweets or unique experiences of travellers would interest a first-time visitor, There’sThere are already some nice reviews on TripAdvisor, but those are unfortunately not aren¬’t featured on the Naturosoft's website.


    4-Currency converters
    The main currencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, China Chinese Yuan, Japanese Yen and many more would help more viewers from around different parts of the world to quickly know if their budget the price is suitable.


    5- TheSearch engine optimization
    It¬’s only The website is currently limited to country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such as eco-tourism, cultural visit,or leisure purpose visit should be considered. considerable


    6-The Careers section
    there¬’s There is an e-mail address to send your resumes to, but there¬’s there is also a form to fill that is mandatory to put in the date, number of adults, and it has an option to tick for vacation package. I believe it¬’s that form is not the right place.but rather Additionally, the form should be changed into requiring the to ask for basic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.


    7-XXX Tours FAQ
    In Section 14 it¬’s is about remarkable sights/activities; yet, food is mentioned twice, adding a different visually informative section for the Egyptian cuisine & restaurants that cooperate with Memphis wouldn¬’t be too would not be a bad idea.


    8-Weather
    Adding information about the weather would be important. The average degrees, highest and lowest. Imagine also if there¬’s A very small popup could that tell the temperature in degrees Celsius degree in Cairo right now as at the time the viewer browses the site.


    Yours truly,
    XXX

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