[Essay] Suggestion letter review

[KelThuzad]

[FONT=&quot]I was asked to send a letter on what could be improved for the company's website (it's related to job application) so I went on and wrote the letter in points and using my own words, can you please tell me if there are any mistakes/ the points idea is wrong..etc?

Subject: Personalsuggestions[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Dear Mr XXX[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am writing thisletter to suggest you some improvement in the company’s website from my pointof view pointing them out one by one.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1-I’ll start offwith with a simple addition of adding Night mode, that detects the IP addressof the viewer, depending on his time zone the background becomes black and morenight-friendly. Or add the option of changing the colors after running the samelayout for months, it is nice to update such small areas and catch repeatvisitors by surprise![/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]2-Displaying thepossibility of viewing from the mobile application[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After browsing thewebsite for a little bit. It would be nice to find a blank space of yourcountry code and mobile number to fill in order to send you a link to downloadthe app, simply it eases notifications you want to send to the customer such asoffers, new services. Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline thelatest itineraries aswell as consuming less data when online, a study has foundthat users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]3-Reviews[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]There are a bunchof the independent service rating reviews but adding pictures tweets or uniqueexperiences of travelers would interest a first time visitor, There’s alreadysome nice reviews on Trip Advisor but aren’t featured on the website.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]4-Currencyconverters[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The maincurrencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, China Chinese Yuan ,Japanese Yen .and many more would help more viewers from around different partsof the world to quickly know if their budget is suitable[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5-The searchengine[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It’s only limitedto country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such aseco-tourism, cultural visit, leisure purpose visit should be considerable[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]6-The Careerssection[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]there’s an e-mailto send your resume but there’s a form to fill that is mandatory to put in a date,number of adults and has an option to tick for vacation package, I believe it’snot the right place but rather the form should be changed into requiring thebasic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]7- XXX Tours FAQ[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In section 14 it’sabout remarkable sights/activities yet food is mentioned twice, adding a differentvisually informative section for the cuisine & restaurants thatcooperate with Memphis wouldn’t be too bad. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]8-Weather[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Addinginformation about weather would be important. The average degrees, highestand lowest. Imagine also if there’s a very small popup that tells the Celsius degreein Cairo right now as the viewer browses.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

 

[teechar]

(it's related to job application)

Is this real or hypothetical?
Also, please edit your letter to insert spaces between words. Finally, write in a clear and direct manner. Post the revised version below.

 

[KelThuzad]

Is this real or hypothetical?
Also, please edit your letter to insert spaces between words. Finally, write in a clear and direct manner. Post the revised version below.

It's indirectly real, They just want to evaluate how good my writing is before I get hired. (I've done other tasks and passed)

Sorry copypasting it from the word document messed it a little bit, it should be fine now.

Subject: Personal suggestions

Dear Mr. XXX

I am writing this letter to suggest you some improvement in the company’s website from my point of view pointing them out one by one.

1-I’ll start off with a simple addition of adding Night mode, that detects the IP address of the viewer, depending on his time zone the background becomes black and more night-friendly. Or add the option of changing the colors after running the same layout for months, it is nice to update such small areas and catch repeat visitors by surprise!

2-Displaying the possibility of viewing from the mobile application
After browsing the website for a little bit. It would be nice to find a blank space of your country code and mobile number to fill in order to send you a link to download the app, simply it eases notifications you want to send to the customer such as offers, new services.

Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline the latest itineraries as well as consuming less data when online, a study has found that users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.

3-Reviews
There are a bunch of the independent service rating reviews but adding pictures tweets or unique experiences of travelers would interest a first time visitor, There’s already some nice reviews on Trip Advisor but aren’t featured on the website.

4-Currency converters
The main currencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, China Chinese Yuan , Japanese Yen .and many more would help more viewers from around different parts of the world to quickly know if their budget is suitable

5-The search engine
It’s only limited to country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such as eco-tourism, cultural visit, leisure purpose visit should be considerable

6-The Careers section
there’s an e-mail to send your resume but there’s a form to fill that is mandatory to put in a date, number of adults and has an option to tick for vacation package, I believe it’s not the right place but rather the form should be changed into requiring the basic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.

7-XXX Tours FAQ
In section 14 it’s about remarkable sights/activities yet food is mentioned twice, adding a different visually informative section for the Egyptian cuisine & restaurants that cooperate with Memphis wouldn’t be too bad.

8-Weather
Adding information about the weather would be important. The average degrees, highest and lowest. Imagine also if there’s a very small popup that tells the Celsius degree in Cairo right now as the viewer browses.





Yours Truly,
XXX

 

[emsr2d2]

If your prospective employers want to see how good your writing is, do you really think it's fair to send them a letter that's partly been written by us?

 

[KelThuzad]

If your prospective employers want to see how good your writing is, do you really think it's fair to send them a letter that's partly been written by us?

I have already wrote the suggestions needed، atleast you could help me with any error or evaluate the letter, don't worry its not the only decider as they evaluate other tasks aswell nor in competition of writing with other candidates. I'd appreciate any advice..

 

[teechar]

Subject: [Strike]Personal[/Strike] Website improvement Suggestions


Dear Mr. XXX,


I am writing this letter to outline some suggestions on how Naturosoft's [insert actual company name instead][Strike]you some improvement in the companyÂ’s[/Strike] website can be improved. [Strike]from my point of view pointing them out one by one.[/Strike]


1- [Strike]IÂ’ll[/Strike] I would start off with a simple addition of [Strike]adding[/Strike] a night mode feature. That detects the IP address of the viewer and, depending on [Strike]his[/Strike] their time zone, the background becomes black and more night-friendly. [Strike]Or[/Strike] Alternatively, we can add the option of changing the colors [Strike]after running[/Strike] instead of being stuck with the same layout for months. It [Strike]is[/Strike] would be nice to update such [Strike]small areas[/Strike] graphical details and catch repeat visitors by surprise!


2- [Strike]Displaying the possibility of viewing from the[/Strike] Designing a mobile version of the site or even a suitable application.
[Strike]After browsing the website for a little bit.[/Strike] It would be [Strike]nice[/Strike]also helpful to find a blank space [Strike]of your[/Strike] for a user's country code and mobile number to fill in order to send [Strike]you[/Strike] them a link to download the app, [Strike]simply it eases[/Strike] which can deliver notifications [Strike]you want to send[/Strike] to the customer on matters such as offers or new services.


[Strike]Nevertheless the possibility of browsing offline the latest itineraries as well as consuming less data when online, a study has found that users and travelers in specific spend more time on phones and mobile apps.[/Strike]


3-Reviews
There are plenty [Strike]a bunch[/Strike] of the independent service ratingagencies that also provide reviews, but adding pictures, tweets or unique experiences of travellers would interest a first-time visitor, [Strike]There’s[/Strike]There are already some nice reviews on TripAdvisor, but those are unfortunately not [Strike]arenÂ’t[/Strike] featured on [Strike]the[/Strike] Naturosoft's website.


4-Currency converters
The main currencies are displayed but adding Canadian Dollars, [Strike]China[/Strike] Chinese Yuan, Japanese Yen and many more would help more viewers from around different parts of the world to quickly know if [Strike]their budget[/Strike] the price is suitable.


5- [Strike]The[/Strike]Search engine optimization
[Strike]ItÂ’s only[/Strike] The website is currently limited to country and price range, but adding the purpose of the vacation such as eco-tourism, cultural visit,or leisure [Strike]purpose visit[/Strike] should be considered. [Strike]considerable[/Strike]


6-The Careers section
[Strike]thereÂ’s[/Strike] There is an e-mail address to send [Strike]your[/Strike] resumes to, but [Strike]thereÂ’s[/Strike] there is also a form to fill that is mandatory to put in the date, number of adults, and it has an option to tick for vacation package. I believe [Strike]itÂ’s[/Strike] that form is not the right place.[Strike]but rather[/Strike] Additionally, the form should be changed [Strike]into requiring the[/Strike] to ask for basic information along with attachment of the curriculum vitae.


7-XXX Tours FAQ
[Strike]In[/Strike] Section 14 [Strike]itÂ’s[/Strike] is about remarkable sights/activities; yet, food is mentioned twice, adding a different visually informative section for the Egyptian cuisine & restaurants that cooperate with Memphis [Strike]wouldnÂ’t be too[/Strike] would not be a bad idea.


8-Weather
Adding information about the weather would be important. The average degrees, highest and lowest. [Strike]Imagine also if thereÂ’s[/Strike] A very small popup could [Strike]that[/Strike] tell the temperature in degrees Celsius [Strike]degree[/Strike] in Cairo right [Strike]now as[/Strike] at the time the viewer browses the site.


Yours truly,
XXX