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  1. Just Joined
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: May 2018
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Post my Cover Letter. Can someone correct this please?

    Hey guys, this is my Cover Letter for an unsolicited application. Can someone correct this please?


    Unsolicited application to write a bachelor-thesis


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I would like to submit my unsolicited application in order to write a bachelor-thesis in your company.

    I am currently a student of Mechanical Engineering (B.Sc.) specialized in “Mechatronics” in the University of ***** and I am planning to complete my master’s degree in “Aeronautical Engineering and Astronautics (Luft- und Raumfahrttechnik)” in ***** University.

    My interests and strengths are in programming with different programming languages, as well as understanding the functionality of different types of machines, be it machines that are based on the fundamentals of Electrical Engineering (Electrical Machines) or based on the fundamentals of Thermodynamics (of piston machines and fluid-flow machines).
    In most of the programming languages I have worked with I am still a beginner, but I am motivated to learn any given programming language that is required to get the work done. Therefore, I would prefer if I could support you in a project, which is closely related to the aforementioned interests and strengths. This way I can assure you that way I will be able to assist you in your project with the best of abilities.

    I would also like to add that formula 1 has been on my keen interests since last year july, when I was watching the Grand Prix Race in Austria. Since then, I have always had the dream to work in a company, which is somehow related to Grand Prix racing. Your company has that aspect, and I am very motivated to add my contributions to your projects.

    Programming in the context of mechanical engineering has long been one of my interests, which is why I have already worked with the programming languages ​​Matlab and Python in the past. I have tested my Matlab programming skills with a so-called “Cody-Challenge” and so far, I was able to master 40 out of 96 problems of average to high difficulties. The "Cody Challenge" is a collection of Matlab-related questions of all levels of difficulties. The developers of Matlab provide this for the users to help them improve their programming skills. I have also attached three coded scripts of my favorite problems with this letter. The Scrips include documentations, to further demonstrate my knowledge and understanding. Furthermore, during my internship at the SMS group GmbH, I participated in a project with my programming skills in Matlab. The aim was to develop a "tool" for data processing, evaluation and presentation of measured data. The measured data came from the slabs, which were cast in continuous casting plants and measured after subsequent cooling.
    In addition to the above, I have successfully completed the beginner level on another practice course called “Datacamp” to improve my programming skills in Python. My current focus is stronger on Matlab, and in the near future I will work more closely with both programming languages ​​and expand my programming skills in both. I am also interested in C++ and I will soon start to teach myself that programming language as well, in order to expand my programming skill sets and work towards becoming a full stack developer. With the skills and knowledge that I have mentioned thus far, I will be able to get up to speed quickly and add value to the team.

    During my internship at the SMS group GmbH, I helped to build test setups, carry out tests and install testing and measuring systems. These are mentioned in more detail in my internship certificate under "activities". This shows that I have first practical experiences in scientific experiments in an industrial environment, in addition to the laboratory experiments, which I have completed as part of my studies. Therefore, I will able to support you to perform tests and document and analyse the test results.

    I have always tried to fulfil the tasks given to me as independently and thoroughly as possible and I aimed to exceed the expectations of my supervisors. Furthermore, I have always offered to help in other projects and have asked for further tasks in the current project. My supervisors have always been very satisfied with my work, and with the help of their support, I have developed a more efficient and structured way of thinking and of completing my tasks. I have attached a copy of my internship certificate with this letter.

    The opportunity to complete a project and write a bachelor thesis in your company, would enable me to deepen my theoretical knowledge and programming skills through practical work. I would also be able to gain a solid amount of knowledge and experience of race cars and in general of automobiles.
    In return, I am offering to assist you in your projects with great interest and commitment and all of my knowledge and skills in engineering, especially the ones mentioned above.

    Thinking of race cars and racing in general excites me a lot and I can hardly wait to discover the work of an engineer in this space. Thermodynamics and Electrical Engineering for Engineers have been one of my most favorite subjects during my studies, and as an engineer, I feel most comfortable with programming, especially with Matlab. I am confident that I am a perfect fit for this position and vice versa.

    I would be very excited to meet with you and discuss the contributions that I can make in your projects. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.


    Yours faithfully,
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 15-Feb-2019 at 17:25. Reason: Removed extraneous line breaks

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,179
    #2

    Re: my Cover Letter. Can someone correct this please?

    Quote Originally Posted by studentnrw View Post
    Hey guys, this is my Cover Letter for an unsolicited application. Can someone correct this please?


    Unsolicited application to write a bachelor-thesis


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I would like to submit my unsolicited application in order to write a bachelor-thesis in your company.

    I am currently a student of Mechanical Engineering (B.Sc.) specialized in “Mechatronics” in the University of ***** and I am planning to complete my master’s degree in “Aeronautical Engineering and Astronautics (Luft- und Raumfahrttechnik)” in ***** University.

    My interests and strengths are in programming with different programming languages, as well as understanding the functionality of different types of machines, be it machines that are based on the fundamentals of Electrical Engineering (Electrical Machines) or based on the fundamentals of Thermodynamics (of piston machines and fluid-flow machines).
    In most of the programming languages I have worked with I am still a beginner, but I am motivated to learn any given programming language that is required to get the work done. Therefore, I would prefer if I could support you in a project, which is closely related to the aforementioned interests and strengths. This way I can assure you that way I will be able to assist you in your project with the best of abilities.

    I would also like to add that formula 1 has been on my keen interests since last year july, when I was watching the Grand Prix Race in Austria. Since then, I have always had the dream to work in a company, which is somehow related to Grand Prix racing. Your company has that aspect, and I am very motivated to add my contributions to your projects.

    Programming in the context of mechanical engineering has long been one of my interests, which is why I have already worked with the programming languages ​​Matlab and Python in the past. I have tested my Matlab programming skills with a so-called “Cody-Challenge” and so far, I was able to master 40 out of 96 problems of average to high difficulties. The "Cody Challenge" is a collection of Matlab-related questions of all levels of difficulties. The developers of Matlab provide this for the users to help them improve their programming skills. I have also attached three coded scripts of my favorite problems with this letter. The Scrips include documentations, to further demonstrate my knowledge and understanding. Furthermore, during my internship at the SMS group GmbH, I participated in a project with my programming skills in Matlab. The aim was to develop a "tool" for data processing, evaluation and presentation of measured data. The measured data came from the slabs, which were cast in continuous casting plants and measured after subsequent cooling.
    In addition to the above, I have successfully completed the beginner level on another practice course called “Datacamp” to improve my programming skills in Python. My current focus is stronger on Matlab, and in the near future I will work more closely with both programming languages ​​and expand my programming skills in both. I am also interested in C++ and I will soon start to teach myself that programming language as well, in order to expand my programming skill sets and work towards becoming a full stack developer. With the skills and knowledge that I have mentioned thus far, I will be able to get up to speed quickly and add value to the team.

    During my internship at the SMS group GmbH, I helped to build test setups, carry out tests and install testing and measuring systems. These are mentioned in more detail in my internship certificate under "activities". This shows that I have first practical experiences in scientific experiments in an industrial environment, in addition to the laboratory experiments, which I have completed as part of my studies. Therefore, I will able to support you to perform tests and document and analyse the test results.

    I have always tried to fulfil the tasks given to me as independently and thoroughly as possible and I aimed to exceed the expectations of my supervisors. Furthermore, I have always offered to help in other projects and have asked for further tasks in the current project. My supervisors have always been very satisfied with my work, and with the help of their support, I have developed a more efficient and structured way of thinking and of completing my tasks. I have attached a copy of my internship certificate with this letter.

    The opportunity to complete a project and write a bachelor thesis in your company, would enable me to deepen my theoretical knowledge and programming skills through practical work. I would also be able to gain a solid amount of knowledge and experience of race cars and in general of automobiles.
    In return, I am offering to assist you in your projects with great interest and commitment and all of my knowledge and skills in engineering, especially the ones mentioned above.

    Thinking of race cars and racing in general excites me a lot and I can hardly wait to discover the work of an engineer in this space. Thermodynamics and Electrical Engineering for Engineers have been one of my most favorite subjects during my studies, and as an engineer, I feel most comfortable with programming, especially with Matlab. I am confident that I am a perfect fit for this position and vice versa.

    I would be very excited to meet with you and discuss the contributions that I can make in your projects. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.


    Yours faithfully,
    Can you please clarify the parts I highlighted in blue?

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,670
    #3

    Re: my Cover Letter. Can someone correct this please?

    Teechar, you don't get paid enough.


    I have a feeling that most of the time people don't bother to read the cover letters (with corrections) that have already been posted here.


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