[General] [Motivation] Letter for visa application

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KelThuzad

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I've got admit to a university abroad and I have to submit a letter of motivation to the foreigners office aswell as the embassy in my country. Would be appreciated if you take a look and bring my attention to any errors/ things that could be improved in the letter, so here's what I wrote:



I am "Name", born in "Date" in "City", I’ve graduated in 2018 with a bachelor degree in tourism with an overall academic performance of excellency as I was ranked in the top 10 students (top 1 as male student) in my batch’s first year. I wish to be granted a student visa in order to pursue my master degree in International tourism to further deepen my academic knowledge


The reason I chose "country" is that the "country" education system is internationally recognized by professional spheres. A "country" degree will certainly improve my curriculum and further increase my employment perspectives, With one of the cheapest yet quality Educational systems in XXX there’s only administrative fees at a very reasonable cost. As well the cost of living is very reasonable as I almost have to only pay my life expenses bearing in mind that the XXX is ranked in Top 10 tourism destinations worldwide thus the industry is continuously booming due to the strategic location and wide range of different types of tourism.

It is undeniable that the Tourism sector is highly dynamic, rapidly expanding, developing and diverse It has experienced remarkable growth in recent years and it is one of the highest sectors in generating high levels of employment, thanks to globalization tourist arrivals and receipts from international tourism are uprising.
Tourism therefore needs managing, Activities in strategic planning, market research, project management and Leadership needs are becoming more significant. All these activities demand international and intercultural approach.

My choice of studying at "Name of University" is that it is located in one of the top tourism destinations in XXX, well known destinations like XXXX, XXXX, XXXX or XXXX are not far away and offer the opportunity to work in the tourism sector during my studies to enhance my theoretical studies with practical experience as well as its dedicated lecturers and the atmosphere in the university that it will allow me to study effectively and in small groups, the modern equipment and the tight integration with business are further advantages that are not found in my home university, moreover this master we should study in small groups which makes individual questions and progress possible as the lecturers are expected to know the students by name and have time to help them, which eases the learning process.

Furthermore, in "City", the cost of living is low compared to other cities. There are nice student dorms, healthy food and everything is possible with a suitable budget. So "City" is the most suitable town for me to commence my studies as the city has only 21,000 of population , it has a lot of shops and more importantly everything is quickly accessible by bike or on foot, another fascinating thing that the city is very close to the sea and has a UNESCO world heritage site nearby so generally it is relaxing and gives you the best opportunity and the necessary environment for the learning process.

My interest in having the necessary tourism management knowledge and skills stem from my internships. During my internship at XXX international airport I interacted with a wide range of nationalities, There were issues such as delays. There, I was more convinced of how the impact of a professional manager can have and the ability of smooth running such an energetically dynamic place. Another reason is, During my Bachelor studies, I had many researches and field visits to several tourist attractions,
Speaking with tourists in the perspective of a potential manager improved my vision on how to manage the industry in a physical way, in addition to playing the role of an organizer in some other medium in a semi-digital manner.




When I had such responsibilities, which included tournaments as well as my trainings at the airport, I came to learn how to conduct myself in challenging situations, differentiating between social life and
business life, and producing with the best outcome from situations that can be considered stressful.
From my training at the airport, I realized passion, respect, politeness, knowledge, skill and experience are essential for a customer-centered approach

I started to learn "Language", to achieve an acceptable level that may help me to manage my daily life experiences while I study my master in English in "Country", However, I think I need to practice and improve my "Language" on a daily basis based on the surrounding environment to hasten up my integration to the society.
Finally, I would like to say I have a lot of dreams that I look forward to achieve, I consider that studying in "Country" is the gateway to a bright future for me and attaining my aspirations.

Thank you for considering my visa application and I'm looking forward to hear from you.

Best Regards,
XXX
 

teechar

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What's the deadline for that letter?
 

KelThuzad

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The deadline is quite nearby, I would very much appreciate your cooperation, I don't want to submit before your usual fruitful look on letters :)
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I graduated in 2018 with a bachelor's degree in tourism.
 

Tarheel

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The deadline is quite soon, I would very much appreciate your help, I don't want to submit before your usual fruitful look at letters :)

Hm.
 
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Tarheel

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You're looking for another degree? In any case, you want to improve your resume and your employment prospects.

Don't put too much in one sentence. You need to improve your word choices.

:)
 

KelThuzad

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It's not for a different degree, It's for the masters degree of the same subject, I just recently graduated from my bachelor, in this case how do I improve my resume or my employment prospects?

Don't put too much in one sentence. You need to improve your word choices.

Any examples, please?
 

emsr2d2

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I don't know which country you're hoping to study in but, if it's the UK, you definitely don't need to write such a letter for the visa application. No one at the embassy is going to read something that long. Your visa application form should show exactly what documents you need to submit (the admission/acceptance letter from the university, for example).
 

KelThuzad

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It's not for the UK, its for a country where your motivation letter has to cover all the points I mentioned and that the letter is a big factor on giving the visa.
 

teechar

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I graduated in 2018 with a bachelor degree's in tourism, and I was ranked in the top 10 students (first as a male student) in my first year. I wish to be granted a student visa in order to pursue my master's degree in international tourism to further my academic knowledge in this field.

I chose "country" because of your renowned education system. A degree from “country” will certainly improve my curriculum and further increase my employment prospects. Moreover, the tuition fees and overall costs are very competitive, yet the quality of education is excellent, bearing in mind that the XXX is ranked in top 10 tourism destinations in the world.

It is undeniable that the tourism sector in “country” is highly dynamic, rapidly expanding, developing and diverse. It has experienced remarkable growth in recent years, and it is one of the mainstays of the economy in “country”.

Tourism, needs good management practices, activities in strategic planning, market research, project management and leadership skills. All these demand international and intercultural approaches.

I chose to apply to "Name of University" because it is located in one of the top tourism destinations in XXX. Well-known destinations like XXXX, XXXX, XXXX or XXXX are not far away and offer the opportunity to work in the tourism sector during my studies and to put into practise what I learn. Furthermore, the dedicated lecturers and the friendly atmosphere in the university will allow me to study effectively and in small groups, using modern equipment. The tight integration with business is a further advantage.

Another fascinating thing that “City” is very close to the sea and has a UNESCO world heritage site nearby, so it has an environment conducive to learning.

My interest in having the necessary tourism management knowledge and skills stem from my internships. During my internship at XXX international airport, I interacted with a wide range of nationalities and encountered issues such as delays. There, I learned how an effective manager can contribute to the smooth running of such a dynamic workplace. Also, during my undergraduate studies, I took part in many research projects and went on field visits to several tourist attractions. Speaking with tourists improved my vision of how to manage tourist facilities in a successful way. From my training at the airport, I learned that respect, politeness, knowledge, skill and experience are essential parts of a customer-centered approach.

Finally, I would like to say that I have many dreams that I look forward to achieving, and I consider that studying in "Country" is the gateway to a bright future for me and for attaining my goals.

Thank you for considering my visa application, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

XXX
 

Tarheel

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It's not for the UK. It's for a country where your motivation letter has to cover all the points I mentioned, and the letter is a big factor in whether you get the visa or not.

Why is the name of the country a secret?
:)
 

Tarheel

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You already mentioned that you had a college degree. You don't need to emphasize that you did well academically.

The people who get these things don't have much time to read them, and they don't take take much time to read them. So emphasize the main points and go light on details.
 

KelThuzad

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Why is the name of the country a secret?
:)

It's not secret, to be honest I was afraid if some people are just gonna copy paste the letter into their own for the same application to the same country

anyway it's Germany
 
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