[Essay] Please help me correct the essay

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dcintel

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Topic: Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree.


Writing:


There is a saying: "the harder, the better" might not be totally correct for hobbies. I believe that some people believe that they can gain more enjoyment when chasing a challenging hobby. While other people believe hobbies should be relaxing and easy. In my opinion, I would argue the idea that hobbies should be difficult to enjoy.

On the one hand, some people enjoy easy hobbies for a wide range variety of reasons. Firstly, the top convincing reason is because of physical condition. For example, most of the senior citizens who are older prefer collecting stamps, reading books rather than cycling hundreds of kilometers to discover unknown places or climbing mountains. Secondly, some people have to drive to other hobbies because of their financial situations. For example, swimming does not require much money or requirements. With a small effort in preparation and a little money, everyone can spend hours as relaxation in a swimming pool.

In the other hand, some people prefer difficult hobbies because of showing their higher-class position. For the majority of people, having the ability to follow golf as a hobby is not easy while others prefer going to the golf course weekly. It is not because they do not have enough passion but finance. Furthermore, some hobbies are hard to achieve. For example, film editing not only requires skills but also needs time and experience to master. If hobbies were challenged to be joyful, it might have a situation where nobody would follow the easy hobbies, society would lose the balance and all will chase for hobbies according to the majority rather than their own interests.

In my conclusion, selecting difficult hobbies or easy ones should be a personal taste and their conditions rather than other factors.

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Thanks for spending time.
 

emsr2d2

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Welcome to the forum. :hi:

1. When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked or graded?
2. Are you sure there was no question mark after "To what extent do you agree or disagree"?
 
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