[Essay] Please help me to improve my grammar in my cover letter

[bij0520]

Hi, I'm looking for a new job recently and I need some help with grammar in my cover letter. Feel free to ignore those technology acronyms (mainly in paragraph 2).Thanks in advance!


Dear Hiring Manager,

This letter is to express my interest in the job posted on your website. I have 5 years of hands-on experience in web development industry and I believe my skills and experience will be a great fit for this position.

Since earning my bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, I have years of experience in both frontend and backend development. I have advanced proficiencies in building robust and maintainable backend applications using PHP, Java and Node.JS with MVC framework. I write semantic, responsive frontend code using HTML, CSS, Javascript and React.

I’m also a lifelong learner who eager to learn new stuff and always stay current with trends and technology. And because I have a solid foundation in CS principles, algorithms and data structures, I’m able to pick up new techniques fairly quickly.

I can be reached anytime Friday, Saturday and Sunday (you can also email me to schedule a call) via my cell phone, [my phone number] or Monday to Friday by email at ​[my email].
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you about this opportunity.

 

[tedmc]

Hi, I'm looking for a new job recently and I need some help with grammar in my cover letter. Feel free to ignore those technology acronyms (mainly in paragraph 2).Thanks in advance!


Dear Hiring Manager,*

Re: Application for the Post of xxxx **

This letter is to express my interest in the job (name the job) posted on your website. I have [STRIKE]5[/STRIKE] five years of hands-on experience in the web development industry and I believe my skills and experience will be a great fit for this position.

Since earning my bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, I have had years of experience in both frontend and backend development. I have advanced proficiencies in building robust and maintainable backend applications using PHP, Java and Node.JS with MVC framework. I write semantic, responsive frontend code using HTML, CSS, Javascript and React.

I’m also a lifelong learner who is eager to learn new stuff and always stay current with trends and technology. And because I have a solid foundation in CS principles, algorithms and data structures, I’m able to pick up new techniques fairly quickly.

I can be reached anytime Friday, Saturday and Sunday (you can also email me to schedule a call) via my cell phone, [my phone number] or Monday to Friday by email at ​[my email].
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you about this opportunity.

* Is that the actual designation in the company? There are also Human Resources Manager, Personnel Manager, Recruitment Manager, etc.

** A title for your letter would be useful for them at least to sort out letters received.

 

[Tarheel]

Hi, I'm looking for a new job, and I need some help with the grammar in my cover letter. Feel free to ignore those technology acronyms (mainly in paragraph 2).Thanks in advance! (Please don't make that a habit.)


Dear Hiring Manager,

This letter is to express my interest in the job posted on your website. I have 5 years of hands-on experience in the web development industry and I believe my skills and experience will be a great fit for this position.

Since earning my bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, I have years of experience in both frontend and backend development. I have advanced proficiencies in building robust and maintainable backend applications using PHP, Java and Node.JS with MVC framework. I write semantic, responsive frontend code using HTML, CSS, Javascript and React.

I’m also a lifelong learner who is eager to learn new stuff and always stays current with trends and technology. And because I have a solid foundation in CS principles, algorithms and data structures, I’m able to pick up new techniques fairly quickly.

I can be reached anytime Friday, Saturday or Sunday (you can also email me to schedule a call) via my cell phone, [my phone number] or Monday to Friday by email at ​[my email].
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you about this opportunity.

I'm pretty sure "computer science" is not a proper noun.

As you have no doubt noticed, I made only a few changes.

Any questions?

 

[tedmc]

Tarheel

Shouldn't "since" in the second paragraph be followed by the present prefect "have had"?

 

[Tarheel]

Yes, you could say:

Since earning my degree...I have had years of experience ....

But I'm sure you'll see many cases where they don't bother.

What I like about this one is it's crisp. He doesn't overdo it, using too many words. The people who read those things don't spend a lot of time doing it.

B, let us know how things work out. (It would probably help you could somehow get acquainted with somebody who already works for the company. (It's called the proximity principle.) Of course, that's not always possible.) Good luck!

 

[tedmc]

B, let us know how things work out. (It would probably help you could somehow get acquainted with somebody who already works for the company. (It's called the proximity principle.) Of course, that's not always possible.) Good luck!

We would call that "pulling strings" or "going by the back door". It helps a lot.

 

[bij0520]

* Is that the actual designation in the company? There are also Human Resources Manager, Personnel Manager, Recruitment Manager, etc.

** A title for your letter would be useful for them at least to sort out letters received.

Thanks for the advice. I'll add the position to my letter!

 

[bij0520]

I'm pretty sure "computer science" is not a proper noun.

As you have no doubt noticed, I made only a few changes.

Any questions?

Thanks a lot! I referred to this wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_of_Computer_Science when I was writing the cover letter. So Bachelor of Computer Science is a proper noun but "computer science" is not, is this correct?

Also is it a bad habit to say something like "Thanks in advance"?

 

[tedmc]

Asians are fond of saying that. Native speakers don't.

 

[bij0520]

Yes, you could say:

Since earning my degree...I have had years of experience ....

But I'm sure you'll see many cases where they don't bother.

What I like about this one is it's crisp. He doesn't overdo it, using too many words. The people who read those things don't spend a lot of time doing it.

B, let us know how things work out. (It would probably help you could somehow get acquainted with somebody who already works for the company. (It's called the proximity principle.) Of course, that's not always possible.) Good luck!

Yes I totally agree. I'm trying to get employee referrals from an employee in that company. Thanks, I'll keep you guys updated!

 

[bij0520]

Asians are fond of saying that. Native speakers don't.

Noted! Trying to polite but I also noticed that it can be annoying sometimes.

 

[Tarheel]

Thanks a lot! I referred to this wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bachelor_of_Computer_Science when I was writing the cover letter. So Bachelor of Computer Science is a proper noun but "computer science" is not, is this correct?

That's right.

Also is it a bad habit to say something like "Thanks in advance"?

In my opinion it is. (It is sufficient to click on the "Thank" button.)

I often see "Thanks a lot" on this forum, but in real life I have only heard it used sarcastically.

 

[bubbha]

I would capitalize "Computer Science" if it is the official name of the major or program you got your degree in.

I would also recommend replacing "I'm" with "I am" (and avoid other contractions), because this is a very formal letter and you want to make the best impression you can.