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  1. Newbie
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      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: May 2019
    • Posts: 7
    #1

    Could you help me revise my self introduction

    The following is my self introduction. I wonder if there is something wrong or inappropriate with it. Could you help me revise it and make it more fluent?

    -------------
    Good morning everyone! My name is ***. You can just call me by my English name, John. I’m the executive officer of Hazard Control Division of ***. I am with *** for more than 2 years. Before working here, I worked for the headquarters of *** as a specialist for 5 years. And now, I’m responsible for the establishment of toxic disaster training center in central district. This training center will be located in *** County and also inside National Fire Agency Training Center. So far, the construction of the toxic disaster training center is still under procurement and scheduled to be completed in 2023. In addition, I’ m also responsible for the amendment of "Toxic Chemical Substances Handling Liability Insurance Regulation". This regulation is under amendment and scheduled to be promulgated at the end of 2019. The above is my brief self introduction. Nice to meet you all. If you have any questions, please feel free to discuss with me. Thank you!
    -------------

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,521
    #2

    Re: Could you help me revise my self introduction

    Say:

    I have been with XYZ for more than two years.

    And:

    I worked at the headquarters of ....

    The central district of what?

    I am = I'm

    Say:

    If you have any questions feel free to ask them.

    What is the "Thank you" for?
    Not a professional teacher

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
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      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Taiwan
      • Current Location:
      • Taiwan

    • Join Date: May 2019
    • Posts: 7
    #3

    Re: Could you help me revise my self introduction

    Thank you for your correcting.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • British English
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      • UK
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      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 50,063
    #4

    Re: Could you help me revise my self introduction

    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Thank you for your correcting corrections.
    In that case, "Thank you" should have been written under the ----------------- you put at the end of your piece. The way you wrote it, it appeared to be part of the introduction. However, note that you do not need to write "Thank you" at the end of your posts. Don't thank us in advance. Wait until you read our responses and then click the Thank button on each individual response if you find it helpful.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,521
    #5

    Re: Could you help me revise my self introduction

    Finally, I would delete the last two sentences and simply say:

    Any questions?

    (I still have to look up promulgate.)
    Not a professional teacher

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