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    #1

    How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Could you please check my writing? This is an exemplary task that is part of a CAE exam.

    Your class has attended a lecture on the action governments can take to make sure cultural heritage is preserved for future generations. You have made the notes below.
    Priorities for governments aiming to preserve cultural heritage
    increase funding for museums.
    protect old buildings.
    teach the importance of cultural heritage in schools.

    Some opinions expressed in the discussion
    'Cultural heritage isn't just about buildings - it's about a way of life.'
    'It's the responsibility of the older generation to pass on a cultural heritage to the next generation.'
    'Museums are the best places to keep shared memories of a community.'

    Write an essay for your tutor, discussing two of the priorities in your notes. You should explain which priority you think is more important, giving reasons to support your opinion.
    You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion but you should use your own words as far as possible.
    Write your essay in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.


    Cultural heritage is imperative. Culture is what defines us and what separates us from animals. To preserve the artifacts of our history for those that will come after us is a diffult task. There are many prossible ways of doing so; in this essay, I am going to discuss two of them.

    One way is to increase the budget of museums. This would allow them to become better equiped with tools that could be used to preserve their exhibits. It would also allow them to enrich their exhibition. However, museums may well become just another form of entertainment for young people, not teaching them why it is important to care about our history.

    Another idea is to educate the young on the aforementioned matter. This could make them do the job when we have long been gone. This may not give immediate results, but it would certainly be effective when looking at the problem in the big picture. We cannot forget that organizing an effective program can prove to be difficult to be implemented.

    I trust the second option represents the approach that should be chosen. After all, history is about long-term solutions, and what future generations will do is just as important as our actions. Turning museums into pure entertainment, which is what might happen if the method mentioned in the second paragraph is applied, will render them devoid of the function we expect them to have.



    Total Word Count: 238
    Total Unique Words: 143
    Number of Sentences: 15
    Average Sentence Length: 15.9
    Number of Paragraphs: 4
    Hard Words: (14.29%) (what's this?)
    Lexical Density: 60.08 (what's this?)
    Fog Index: 12.06 (what's this?)

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    #2

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Para 1
    Preserving cultural heritage is imperative. Culture is what defines (identifies) us and what separates distinguishes us from animals. To preserve the artifacts legacies of our history for those that will come after us posterity is a difficult task. There are many possible ways of doing it. In this essay, I am going to discuss two of them.
    Last edited by tedmc; 03-May-2019 at 05:02.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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    #3

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Para 2

    One way is
    for the government to increase the budget for museums. This would allow them to become better equipped with tools facilities that could be used to preserve their exhibits. It would also allow them to enrich their exhibition help build up their collection of exhibits. However, museums may well become just another form of education and entertainment for young people, not teaching them why it is important to care about our which encourage them to appreciate and develop an interest in history.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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    #4

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    Para 2
    However, museums may well become just another form of education and entertainment for young people, not teaching them why it is important to care about our which encourage them to appreciate and develop an interest in history.
    Doesn't it change the meaning to the opposite of what I wrote?

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    #5

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glizdka View Post
    Doesn't it change the meaning to the opposite of what I wrote?
    You are right; I misread your sentence. But the second part of the sentence does not follow from the first.

    However, museums may well become just another form of entertainment for young people, not teaching them why it is important to care about our history if they are not encouraged to appreciate our history and heritage.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  6. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    This is better than your essay about encouraging students to train for careers in science.

    You have a habit of referring to your own text (e.g. "the method mentioned in the second paragraph"). I don't recommend you do this.

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    #7

    Re: How to preserve cultural heritage for future generations.

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    However, museums may well become just another form of entertainment if young people are not encouraged to appreciate our history and heritage.
    The above structure is neater and avoids a potential ambiguity. Consider:
    However, museums may well become just another form of entertainment for young people, if they are not given the attention they deserve.
    In that sentence, it is not clear whether "they" refers to "young people" or museums.

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