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  1. Member
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    #1

    How we can minimize the impact of CO2 in big cities.

    Could you please check my writing? I found this task here.

    Your class has attended a lecture on what governments could do to minimise the impact of CO2 in big cities. You have made some notes below.

    Notes:


    • Restrict car use in city centres
    • Cheaper public transport
    • Congestion charges


    Opinions expressed during the lecture:


    • "Public transport can be slow and unreliable"
    • "Congestion charges would be too expensive"
    • "People that work in the city centre will feel discriminated against"


    Write an essay for your tutor discussing two of the methods in your notes. You should explain which method you think is better for the local government to consider and support your opinion with reasons.

    You can use the opinions provided but you must use your own words as much as possible.

    Write your answer in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.



    Greenhouse gasses are responsible for climate change. One of the most potent of them is carbon dioxide, which is emitted in large amounts in modern day metropolies. Using cars is a significant portion of CO2 produced in cities. In essay, I am going to discuss two solutions that could be implemented by the local authorities to reduce their cities' carbon footprint.

    Restricting the use of motor vehicles in the downtown area is one the ideas. It would greatly reduce the amount of traffic. Combustion engines burn fuel even when the car is motionless, stuck on a backed up road. However, this would necessitate modernization of pedestrian-friendly solutions in the city because people would have to walk more.

    Lowering the ticket price of public transport would encourage people to use it more. This is why I might suggest taking that option into consideration. A bus, for example, can transport about 50 passengers in just one vehicle. But designing a successful public transport system needs to be done carefully; otherwise, we will be left with an expensive investment which is used by no citizen.

    I think banning cars is a drastic move; nonetheles, if the government builds more pathways and makes it easier to go on foot, this would also promote a healthier lifestyle. Many people consider public transport inconvenient. The second option has a much smaller chance of success in my opinion.

    otal Word Count: 231
    Total Unique Words: 156
    Number of Sentences: 15
    Average Sentence Length: 15.4
    Number of Paragraphs: 4
    Hard Words: (15.58%)
    Lexical Density: 67.53
    Fog Index: 12.39
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 05-May-2019 at 09:34. Reason: typo (OP); removed unnecessary line breaks (emsr2d2)

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: How we can minimize the impact of CO2 in big cities.

    Say:

    I think banning cars would be a drastic move.

    It would indeed be a drastic move.
    Not a professional teacher

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: How we can minimize the impact of CO2 in big cities.

    which is emitted in large amounts in modern day metropolies.

    Using cars is causes a significant portion of CO2 produced in cities. Using cars can’t be a portion of CO2.

    In this essay, I am going to discuss two solitions

    Restricting the use of motor vehicles in the downtown area is one of the ideas solutions.
    While too much repetition is bad, sometimes it is clearer.

    stuck on a backed up congested? road.

    A bus, for example, can transport about 50 passengers in just one vehicle. But However, designing ...
    Even though starting a sentence with 'But' is generally considered acceptable, your marker may not agree.


    I think banning cars is a drastic move; nonetheles,

    The second option has a much smaller chance of success in my opinion. Therefore, I would choose the restriction of vehicles.

    --------------------------------------
    You've made a few typos and spelling errors.
    I think you should strengthen your conclusion. Although you've indicated your choice by implication, many markers would prefer an explicit statement.

  4. Member
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    #4

    Re: How we can minimize the impact of CO2 in big cities.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    Using cars is causes a significant portion of CO2 produced in cities. Using cars can’t be a portion of CO2.
    How about "Using cars contributes to a significant portion of CO2 produced in cities."?
    Last edited by Glizdka; 05-May-2019 at 01:14. Reason: contributes

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: How we can minimize the impact of CO2 in big cities.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glizdka View Post
    How about "Automobiles produce a significant amount of the CO2 produced in cities."?
    That's my suggestion.
    Not a professional teacher

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