Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. Junior Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: May 2019
    • Posts: 53
    #1

    The best experience I had ever had

    In the summer of 2017, my husband and I went to the United States. We flew from Rome to Las Vegas and we stayed there for two days. We spent our time visiting the hotels of the Las Vegas Boulevard.
    The hotels are huge and luxurious. Each one has a casino, numerous restaurants and many shops. The one I liked most is the Venice Hotel. Outside you can admire a perfect reconstruction of Piazza San Marco, while inside gondolas float on the artificial canals. Beside the hotels,we visited the Red Rock Canyon and the Death Valley.
    The third day we rented a car and went to the Zion Canyon. What a beauty! I still remember the landscapes, the rivers and the waterfalls. We also met many animals such as squirrels, reindeers and lizards.
    Then we moved to Page to visit Lake Powell and the Antelope Canyon. During our journey, we had another beautiful experience: we went horse riding in The Monument Valley. A Native American led us through the sandstone buttes for two hours. On our way, we met a pack of wild horses that followed us for a while. All over us the view was stunning.
    Our next destination was the Grand Canyon. When we arrived, I could not believe what I was seeing. Pictures and photographs are not comparable with the majestyof this place.
    We visited the NorthRim, which is quieter and wilder then the South Rim.
    Walking along the pathways was a wonderful experience. We stared at the panorama all day long, form morning to sunset. I felt so happy and peaceful that I cried tears of joy.
    After dinner we took some blankets and went outside to admire the Milky Way. I have never seen the stars shine so bright. The atmosphere was so romantic. I went to bed wishing never to leave that place.
    This vacation was the best experience I had ever had.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,676
    #2

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Two things. Please break up that extremely long paragraph into two or three shorter ones. Say:

    We spent our time visiting the hotels on Las Vegas Blvd.
    Not a professional teacher

  3. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,183
    #3

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Some comments:
    - Maintain tense consistency by using the simple past in the first couple of sentences in the second paragraph.
    - Say "we saw many animals".
    - Say "all around us, the view was stunning".
    - Say "Pictures and photographs cannot truly convey the majesty of this place".
    - "North Rim" is two words.
    - Note the difference between "than" and "then".
    - Say "that vacation was ..."

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,676
    #4

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Second paragraph?
    Not a professional teacher

  5. Junior Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: May 2019
    • Posts: 53
    #5

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Second paragraph?
    You mean to break up the second paragraph?

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,676
    #6

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    There is no second paragraph. There are two ways to make paragraphs. That post uses neither.
    Not a professional teacher

  7. Junior Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Italian
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • Italy

    • Join Date: May 2019
    • Posts: 53
    #7

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    There is no second paragraph. There are two ways to make paragraphs. That post uses neither.
    You are right: I didn't leave the blank line.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,676
    #8

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    I don't think you meet wild horses. Yoi probably saw a pack of wild horses.
    Not a professional teacher

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,676
    #9

    Re: The best experience I had ever had

    Say:

    The one I liked most was Venice Hotel.

    And:

    Besides the hotels, we visited Red Rock Canyon and Death Valley.
    Not a professional teacher

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •