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  1. topman85's Avatar
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    #1

    Summary of The Game

    I have written something in English and now I'm trying to find out if my text is correct or native speakers think I write it correctly or not:

    Summary of the game:
    Year 2020…
    The alien invasion demolished the entire earth…
    NASA is activating its most top secret project that is spaceships which travel at the speed of light and is sending groups of people to the safe place out of the Earth.
    Alice and Thomas who loves each other are going by one of these spaceships.
    Suddenly on their way and in galaxy M87 huge gravity draws the spaceship towards its center, and eventually they collide to the surface of the black hole… But after all, this couple survives.
    In part of the spaceship which has been collapsed the gravity is the same as on the Earth.
    Alice and Thomas have thought they were alone, but they were not… they are with filthy and brutal beings.


    Explanation of the process and future of the game:
    This is the game to make you rich…
    First of all I shall say it can revolt the industry of video games.
    Because of being limited by budget we had to make the game 2D… But if we get supported we will release 3D version of the game of all platforms.
    And it might interest you to know after selling the game everyone who had the most price ceiling for financial assistance (that has already been clarified) becomes a shareholder, and after releasing till the game is on he earns his profit from the income.

    The Black Hole is an action, mystery and romantic game.
    At first this game will be released for Windows, Linux, Android and IOS but in future also for PS4.
    It's online and a two player game. It has two major characters, a man and a woman.
    First of all you shall answer some questions about yourself… for example what kind of music do you like? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite color?
    During the game and after passing each level there would be other questions to answer… Now you might ask what all these questions are for.
    After you finish the game, due to your answers you will be introduced to someone like you…
    Weapons and equipment of the game are so vital.
    You need to provide weapons and equipment for your survive.

    Dynamic and quick fight:
    In addition to your own weapons, you can use your enemies' weapons too.
    You will have different kinds of weapons.
    Ancient weapons and modern weapons

    Properties:
    One of your most critical properties in this game is gold.
    You can't pass the levels without gold.
    You can collect gold if you're smart enough or get your gold and equipment by paying money.

    Thank you all

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Summary of The Game

    We're going to be invaded by extraterrestrials next year?
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  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Summary of The Game

    I have written something in English, and now I am trying to find out if my text is grammatically correct.

    That is not what you said, but it is perhaps it is what you meant.

    Your first sentence says the entire earth was demolished. So how can NASA still be functioning?
    Not a professional teacher

  4. topman85's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Summary of The Game

    Shall I begin with this sentence: "After aliens' attack to the Earth there remains nothing…" I meant everything was destroyed and there was no place to live.
    I'll be thankful if you correct whole text. I really like to write in English.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Summary of The Game

    Quote Originally Posted by topman85 View Post
    Should I begin with this sentence: "After aliens' attack to the Earth there remains nothing…" I meant everything was destroyed and there was no place to live.
    I'll be thankful if you correct the whole text. I would really like to write in English.
    The same problem exists. If there is nothing left, how can NASA function? (I guess we can pretend that it was still able to function regardless.)

    I have to have my coffee now.
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  6. topman85's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Summary of The Game

    I wanted to say NASA is trying to save people who survives after attack! :) These aliens destroyed everything but if people don't go away, they will be dead too.

    P.S: I guess I never can learn English!

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Summary of The Game

    Quote Originally Posted by topman85 View Post
    I wanted to say that NASA is trying to save the people who survived the attack. The aliens destroyed the living spaces of the Earthlings, and if they can't find another place to live they will die.

    P.S: I guess I never can learn English!
    Hey! Look at that last sentence.
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  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Summary of The Game

    You are at an advanced level or you wouldn't be able to post here in the first place. However, you need to pay attention to the areas where you are doing well and the areas that you need to work on. It is typical, I think, that when ESL learners write short sentences they make fewer mistakes. That doesn't mean you can never write longer sentences, but you have to walk before you can run.
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  9. topman85's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Summary of The Game

    Good! Now revise the whole text please!

  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Summary of The Game

    NASA activates its top secret project--spaceships that travel at the speed of light and take groups of people to another world. Alice and Thomas are lovers who get on one of the spaceships together.

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