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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Hi everyone!
    I am an italian song writer. I am part of an indie folk - rock band. Our songs have english lyrics, but I need some help to understand if there are any grammatical errors or phrases that can be improved.
    We have 9 songs fo the next album to be fixed. I think it is a very fast and funny work.

    Could someone help me?

    Thanks to evveryone :)

    Massimiliano

  2. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Possibly, yes. I'll let one of the moderators advise you which forum is most appropriate.

    Please avoid posting the entire lyrics. I recommend posting only short excerpts at any one time.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Hi,
    as you suggest me, I post a first excerpts of a song lyrics to be fixed.


    do you think itís the right way?
    youíre working so hard
    Every morning dressing well, wearing your hair
    And you face people dressing jacket and tie
    if you want to win the game - you need to be sure
    that someone loses

  4. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post

    And you face people
    dressing jacket and tie
    This line is not right. dressing is the wrong word. Do you mean wearing? If so, you could also use in or in a.

  5. Newbie
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    #5

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Yes, I mean wearing
    Great!
    Thank you

  6. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    What do you mean by "wearing your hair"?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. Newbie
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    #7

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    I go ahead with lyrics

    in most other places around the world
    Toy guns are Only different gifts..
    Hands holding soil and Stones,
    Leaving Marks on the walls
    There Is no Dolls, books, or buiding blocks, Just guns, kite and guns,
    The love they should receive Is buried under Miles of war..
    Boy, you Will grow up without the Hope of a Better world,
    Resigned to the Life that someone have drawn

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Is there a reason for your random use of capital letters?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    in most other places around the world
    Toy guns are Only different gifts..
    Hands holding soil and Stones,
    Leaving Marks on the walls
    There
    are no Dolls, books, or building blocks, Just guns, kites and guns,
    The love they should receive Is buried under Miles of war..
    Boy, you Will grow up without the Hope of a Better world,
    Resigned to the Life that
    someone have drawn
    The last line should be either someone has drawn or some have drawn, depending on whether you mean one or many people.

  10. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: I need help for Songs Lyrics fixing mistakes :) I am a song writer

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    Hi everyone!
    I am an Italian songwriter. I am part of in an indie folk-rock band. Our songs have English lyrics, but I need some help to understand if there are any grammatical errors or phrases that can be improved.
    We have 9 nine songs for the next album that need to be fixed.

    I think it is a very fast and funny work. I don't know what the blue sentence means.

    Could someone help me?

    Thanks to everyone. Unnecessary. Thank us after we help you, by clicking on the Thank button.

    :) Please don't try to make your own emoticons. If you must use one, click on the button and choose one.

    Massimiliano Unnecessary. We use usernames here.
    Welcome to the forum.

    Please note my corrections and comments above. I have moved your post to the Editing and Writing Topics section. As jutfrank said, please post just short excerpts of the lyrics.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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