dcintel
Junior Member
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2019
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Vietnamese
- Home Country
- Vietnam
- Current Location
- Vietnam
Hi all, please help me correct a piece of writing for vocabularies, grammars as following:
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Some people believe that funds for creative artists such as painters, writers, musicians should be supported by non-governmental funds. While others believe that they should be funded by national budgets. Personally, I agree that national fund should share an amount of money that supports the artists for a wide range of reasons.
On the one hand, artists play an important role in the society. Firstly, products from artist such as paintings, songs, plays help improve learning language and connect people together. As children, we are taught songs by parents or teachers as a means of learning language or simply a form of enjoyment. Not only children but adults also delight singing in group with others. It would appear that the act of singing creates connections between participants regardless of age, gender. Furthermore, painters, composers, writers, musicians are constantly contributing to advertise cultures, customs, history of a nation to people from all around the world. Many cities such as Barcelona, Tokyo attract people from different parts of the world for their art festivals and permanent musical performances. Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center.
On the other hand, I agree that governments have other problems need to be prioritized such as: poverty, war, education, health, pollution. It would be pity if governments could not share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds. In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music.
In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation.
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Some people believe that funds for creative artists such as painters, writers, musicians should be supported by non-governmental funds. While others believe that they should be funded by national budgets. Personally, I agree that national fund should share an amount of money that supports the artists for a wide range of reasons.
On the one hand, artists play an important role in the society. Firstly, products from artist such as paintings, songs, plays help improve learning language and connect people together. As children, we are taught songs by parents or teachers as a means of learning language or simply a form of enjoyment. Not only children but adults also delight singing in group with others. It would appear that the act of singing creates connections between participants regardless of age, gender. Furthermore, painters, composers, writers, musicians are constantly contributing to advertise cultures, customs, history of a nation to people from all around the world. Many cities such as Barcelona, Tokyo attract people from different parts of the world for their art festivals and permanent musical performances. Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center.
On the other hand, I agree that governments have other problems need to be prioritized such as: poverty, war, education, health, pollution. It would be pity if governments could not share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds. In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music.
In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation.
