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    #1

    Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Hi all, please help me correct a piece of writing for vocabularies, grammars as following:

    -------------


    Some people believe that funds for creative artists such as painters, writers, musicians should be supported by non-governmental funds. While others believe that they should be funded by national budgets. Personally, I agree that national fund should share an amount of money that supports the artists for a wide range of reasons.

    On the one hand, artists play an important role in the society. Firstly, products from artist such as paintings, songs, plays help improve learning language and connect people together. As children, we are taught songs by parents or teachers as a means of learning language or simply a form of enjoyment. Not only children but adults also delight singing in group with others. It would appear that the act of singing creates connections between participants regardless of age, gender. Furthermore, painters, composers, writers, musicians are constantly contributing to advertise cultures, customs, history of a nation to people from all around the world. Many cities such as Barcelona, Tokyo attract people from different parts of the world for their art festivals and permanent musical performances. Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center.

    On the other hand, I agree that governments have other problems need to be prioritized such as: poverty, war, education, health, pollution. It would be pity if governments could not share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds. In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music.

    In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation.

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    #2

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Some people believe that funds for creative artists such as painters, writers, musicians should be supported by non-governmental funds. While others believe that they should be funded by national budgets. Personally, I agree that national funds should share an amount of money that provide the allocation to supports the artists for a wide range of various reasons.


    I think "funds for something should be supported by funds" does not sound right, so I have deleted the first "funds for".
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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    #3

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I think "funds for something should be supported by funds" does not sound right, so I have deleted the first "funds for".[/COLOR]
    Yes, I agree. Thanks for your correction.
    I am looking forward for the rest of the piece of writing.

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    #4

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    On the one hand, artists play an important role in the society. Firstly, products the contributions from artists such as paintings, songs and plays help improve learning language learning and connect people together. As children, we are taught songs by our parents or teachers, as a means of learning a language or simply as a form of enjoyment. Not only children but adults also find delight in singing in grouptogether with others. It would appear that the act of singing creates connections between helps to create bond between participants people regardless of age and gender. Furthermore, the artist community, comprising painters, composers, writers, musicians, are constantly contributing to advertise publicising cultures, customs, history of a nation country to people from all around the world. Many cities such as Barcelona and Tokyo attract people from different parts of the world for to their art festivals and permanent musical performances. Finally, public arts works of art in public places attract a lot of people. A good illustration for of this point is that numerous people are being seen like to have photographs taken with their relatives next to public sculptures and architecture in the a city center.

    On the other hand, I agree that governments have other problems of national concern that need to be prioritized addressed, such as poverty, war, education, health, pollution. It would be pity if governments could not share a lend financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of would barely make a dent on the national funds. In addition, musical products have nourished Music, in its various forms, as an art, nourishes our souls from childhood to adult life and enriches our life through traditional pieces of music.

    In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent (what do you mean by this?) on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation.
    Last edited by tedmc; 21-May-2019 at 12:07.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  5. teechar's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    Hi all, please help me correct the following piece of writing for vocabulary and grammar.vocabularies, grammars as following:

    -------------


    Some people believe that funding for creative artists such as painters, writers, musicians should be supported by from non-governmental sources, funds. while others believe that they it should be funded by come out of national budgets. Personally, I agree that national public funds should share an amount of money that supports those artists for a wide range of reasons.

    On the one hand, artists play an important role in the society. Firstly, products from artist such as paintings, songs, plays help improve learning with language learning and in connecting people together. As children, we are taught songs by parents or teachers as a means of learning language or simply as a form of enjoyment. Not only children but adults also delight in singing in group with others. It would appear that the act of singing creates connections between participants regardless of age or gender. Furthermore, painters, composers, writers, and musicians are constantly contributing to advertise promoting the culture, customs, and history of a nation to people from all around the world. Many cities such as Barcelona or Tokyo attract people from different parts of the world for their art festivals and permanent diverse musical performances. Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center. [I don't understand the point you're making here]

    On the other hand, I agree believe that governments have other problems concerns that need to be prioritized such as poverty, war, welfare, defense, education, health and the environment. pollution. It would be a pity if governments could not share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds. [I have no idea what that means] In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music. [How does that sentence fit into this paragraph?]

    In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation. [I don't understand that. Please note that you should not introduce new points/information in a conclusion. You just need to summarize the main points/findings from your body paragraphs.]
    .

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    #6

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center <<I meant due to public arts such as sculpture and architecture attract a lot people, so they love taking photograph with it.

    "share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds" <<
    I mean that a small amount of national funds that used to support the artists would not cause any big issue for governments.
    "In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music. " << It should be removed because it is not relevant to third paragraph.

    In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation. =>> "In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, and so on for various reasons mentioned above." I think it is better now.

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    #7

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music

    No, you have not explained what you mean by the above, especially "other sources". Do you mean "there should be government budget allocation for the promotion of the arts and culture of a country?" I am sure there is, in every country. Where I am from, it comes under the Ministry of Youth, Culture and Sports.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

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    #8

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music

    No, you have not explained what you mean by the above, especially "other sources". Do you mean "there should be government budget allocation for the promotion of the arts and culture of a country?" I am sure there is, in every country. Where I am from, it comes under the Ministry of Youth, Culture and Sports.
    "Other sources" such as: agriculture, defense, education, commerce,...

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    #9

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    "Other sources" such as: agriculture, defense, education, commerce,...
    I would call them "sectors" for government spending. "Sources" seem to refer to other sources of funding.
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  10. teechar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Should creative artists be funded by governments?

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    Finally, public arts attract a lot of people. A good illustration for this point is numerous people are being seen to have photographs with their relatives next to public sculptures and architectures in the city center <<I meant due to public arts such as sculpture and architecture attract a lot people, so they love taking photograph with it.
    This is off-topic. Leave it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    "share a financial support to artists since a modest contribution does not significantly impact on the amount of national funds" <<
    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    I mean that a small amount of national funds that used to support the artists would not cause any big issue for governments.
    Try: "Nevertheless, it should not be a major challenge for governments to offer financial support to artists since the funds needed are likely to be modest in relation to other budgetary considerations."

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    "In addition, musical products have nourished our souls from childhood to adult life through traditional pieces of music. " << It should be removed because it is not relevant to third paragraph.

    Right.

    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by dcintel View Post
    In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, so on in order to enrich and expand cultures, customs of a nation. =>> "In conclusion, I believe that national budgets should be taken from other sources and spent on music, paintings, and so on for various reasons mentioned above." I think it is better now.
    No. I repeat. Please note that you should not introduce new points/information in a conclusion. You just need to summarize the main points/findings from your body paragraphs.

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