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Thread: Bea and George

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    #1

    Bea and George

    Would you please correct the mistakes in this text, which I wrote just as an exercise. I looked up the word "part" in "Longman Dictionary", and the text just poured out of me.

    Bea parted the curtains, and the sunlight poured into the bedroom.
    "George, please get up and get dressed. We have to pick up my parents at the airport," she said.
    "I really don't feel like it," he said and yawned.
    "But you liked it when your parents were here a month ago. You pushed me every minute to please them in any possible way. After those three days, I was tired like a hard-working maid."

    George ignored her words, turned on his side, and pulled a duvet over his head. Bea came over and flung the duvet away, exposing his flabby body.
    "You are fort-five, and look like a boar," she said, rolling her eyes and feigning disgust. "How are you going to look in thirty years from now? They will carry you on a stretcher because your legs will be unable to carry your fat body."
    George, now fully awake, said, "Look yourself in the mirror. Skin and bones. People must believe you're starving yourself to death."

    "When women are unhappy in their marriages, they either starve or put on weight," Bea said.

    He climbed out of bed and stood in only his white underpants, bow-legged and with the rolls of fat around his waist.
    They stared at each other without a word for a while, like two animals measuring each other.
    "I'll hurry," George said and headed to the bathroom.
    "Please do," Bea said. "We have to be kind towards them. After all, they've promised to give me the money for my new teeth."

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    #2

    Re: Bea and George

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Bea parted the curtains, and the sunlight poured into the bedroom.
    "George, please get up and get dressed. We have to pick up my parents at the airport," she said.
    "I really don't feel like it," he said and yawned.
    "But you liked it when your parents were here a month ago. You pushed me every minute to please them in any every possible way. After those three days, I was tired and felt like a hard-working an overworked maid."

    George ignored her words, turned on his side, and pulled the duvet over his head. Bea came moved over and flung the duvet away, exposing his flabby body.
    "You are fort-five, and already look like a boar," she said, rolling her eyes and feigning disgust. "How are you going to look in thirty years from now?* They will carry you on a stretcher because your legs will be unable to carry your fat body."
    George, now fully awake, said, "Look yourself in the mirror. Skin and bones. People must believe you're starving yourself to death."

    "When women are unhappy in their marriages, they either starve or put on weight," Bea said.

    He climbed out of bed and stood in only his white underpants, bow-legged and with the rolls of fat around his waist.
    They stared at each other without a word for a while, like two animals measuring each other.
    "I'll hurry be ready in a minute," George said and headed to the bathroom.
    "Please do, Good," Bea said. "We have to be kind towards them. After all, they've promised to give me the money for my new teeth."
    What do you mean by the underlined part?

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    #3

    Re: Bea and George

    "My new teeth" could mean different kinds of treatment. It could mean dental implants, bridges or dentures. I didn't specify it because I imagined that Bea and her husband had already talked about that before, and now she just reminded him of the money she was expecting from her parents by saying "my new teeth."

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    #4

    Re: Bea and George

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    After all, they've promised to give me the money for my new teeth." pay my dental bills.
    .

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    #5

    Re: Bea and George

    I think 'new teeth' is more appropriate than 'dental bills'. The former is more specific than the latter, which could be for all sorts of treatment. The idea of new teeth also adds a touch of humour. Bea has been mocking George's appearance, and now we learn that she may well have lost all her teeth.

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