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Thread: Just for fun

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    #1

    Just for fun

    I copied this from EnglishForums.com:

    These are probably as old as the hills, but here they are.

    • A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
    • A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
    • An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
    • Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
    • A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
    • Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
    • A question mark walks into a bar?
    • A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
    • Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out -- we don’t serve your type.”
    • A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
    • A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
    • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
    • A synonym strolls into a tavern.
    • At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
    • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
    • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
    • A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
    • An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
    • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
    • A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
    • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
    • A dyslexic walks into a bra.
    • A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
    • An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
    • A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
    • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
    • A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
    • 100 years ago everyone had horses and only the rich had cars. Today, everyone has cars and only the rich have horses. The stables have turned.
    • (California Jim)

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    #2

    Re: Just for fun

    Good ones.

  3. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Just for fun

    That's all very well, Rover, but:

    Did the suggestive question also walk into a bar? Yes, of course it did!

  4. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Just for fun

    Now you've got me wondering:

    Would any hypothetical questions ever walk into a bar? Would they all walk into the same bar, or different ones? What might they order?

    (This is fun!)

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    #5

    Re: Just for fun

    A double entendre walked into a bar and asked for a drink, so the barman gave her one.

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    #6

    Re: Just for fun

    I'm racking my mined, butt eye cant sea what the malapropism meant buy his magnificent other.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: Just for fun

    A limbo dancer walked into a bar.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #8

    Re: Just for fun

    Dylexia walked into a bra.

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    #9

    Re: Just for fun

    "A dyslexic walked into a bra" is already on the list in post #1.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #10

    Re: Just for fun

    /ə fəʊnətɪʃn̩ wɔːks ɪntuwə bɑː ən ɑːsks frən/ IPA
    Last edited by Piscean; 11-Jun-2019 at 11:46.

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