[Essay] Should animals be used widely to develop new medicines that benefit for humanity?

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dcintel

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Hi all, please help me check the following piece of writing for grammar and vocabulary.

This is my practice from a topic: "Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."


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Some people argue that animals have being used widely and immorally in a search of new treatment for human beings, while others accept that it should be treated in such that way as it brings benefits for humanity. In my opinion, I agree that animals should be used to develop new treatments but must be limited.

Animals are also living organism as human being. They also emotion, felling such as like, love, hate as we do. Take a dog as an example. When being raised with love and care, they will always return to their owners with happiness and loyalty as often seen from the action of waving tail and cuddling to their owner’s hands. In the opposite case, they will, obviously, bark or even bite if being treated badly. All of us always want to live longer, and I believe animals also expect similarly. So, I understand why some people argue that we should not stop their lives from our experiments.

When existing on earth, humans have been suffering different things, in particularly diseases. If a new medicine treatment cannot be tested on animals due to moral reasons before applying to human beings, the consequences is indescribable. A clear example would be the cold vaccines. Before the vaccines were discovered, I believe that a thousand of human lives had been suffering, even death. If the vaccines were not rigidly checked thoroughly on mice in laboratory, at least a human life would be badly suffered in case of its side effects, which, of course cause lot of troubles to society. In order to survive, there would be no other options. However, it has been shown recently that lot of animals have been overused for other purposes outside a medical context. So governments, scientists and other related departments should collaborate tightly to mitigate the loss of animals.

In conclusion, I believe that animals should be used in lab in finding of new treatment that is beneficial for humanity but it should be limited due to moral reasons.
 

emsr2d2

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I don't have time to look at the whole piece at the moment but here is one correction:

... that benefit humanity. (Not "benefit for humanity".)
 

dcintel

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Thanks emsr2d2, ​I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
 

teechar

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The first paragraph is mostly off topic. What are you trying to achieve with it?
 

dcintel

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The first paragraph is mostly off topic. What are you trying to achieve with it?
It is introduction paragraph. What I am trying to introduce was that some people are arguing about the experiments on animals due to immoral, while others accept that because this brings benefits to human.
 
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Glizdka

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Not a teacher, just trying to spot some. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
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Some people argue that animals have [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] been used widely and immorally in [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] search of new treatment for human beings, while others accept that it should be treated in such that a way that as it brings benefits for humanity. In my opinion, I agree that animals should be used to develop new treatments but it must be limited.

Animals are also living organisms as human being. They also have emotions, fellings such as [STRIKE]like,[/STRIKE] love, hate as we do. Take a dog as an example. When being raised with love and care, they will always return to their owners with happiness and loyalty as often seen from the action of waving tail and cuddling to their owner’s hands. In the opposite case, they will, obviously, bark or even bite if being treated badly. All of us always want to live longer, and I believe animals also expect similarly. So, I understand why some people argue that we should not stop their lives from our experiments.

When existing on earth, humans have been suffering different things, in particularly diseases. If a new medicine treatment cannot be tested on animals due to moral reasons before applying to human beings, the consequences [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] are indescribable. A clear example would be the cold vaccines. Before the vaccines were discovered, I believe that a thousand of human lives had been suffering, even death. If the vaccines were not rigidly checked thoroughly on mice in laboratory, at least a human life would be badly suffered in case of its side effects, which, of course cause lot of troubles to society. In order to survive, there would be no other options. However, it has been shown recently that lot of animals have been [STRIKE]over[/STRIKE]abused for other purposes outside a medical context. So governments, scientists and other related departments should collaborate tightly to mitigate the loss of animals.

In conclusion, I believe that animals should be used in lab in finding of new treatment that is beneficial for humanity but it should be limited due to moral reasons.
 

teechar

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emsr2d2

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dcintel

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I meant the first body paragraph.
I meant animals would like to live in harmony with people in this world. They should have rights to live like people. Killing them for experiments, therefore, is an immoral
 

Tarheel

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So, dcintel, you are against testing drugs on nonhuman animals. How do you suggest we test new drugs?
 

Tarheel

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Your first sentence.

Some people say that animals have been used widely and immorally in search of new treatments for human diseases.

That makes sense. The rest of that sentence is a mishmash.

I suggest that you write shorter, simpler sentences
You have to walk before you can run.
 
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dcintel

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So, dcintel, you are against testing drugs on nonhuman animals. How do you suggest we test new drugs?
I am not against the idea of testing on nonhuman animals, but testing should be limited in order to find new drugs.
 

Tarheel

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but testing should be limited in order to find new drugs.

That says testing should be limited so new drugs can be found.
 

Fidel Miller

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Hi all, please help me check the following piece of writing for grammar and vocabulary.

This is my practice from a topic: "Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion."


===============

Some people argue that animals have being used widely and immorally in a search of new treatment for human beings, while others accept that it should be treated in such that way as it brings benefits for humanity. In my opinion, I agree that animals should be used to develop new treatments but must be limited.

Animals are also living organism as human being. They also emotion, felling such as like, love, hate as we do. Take a dog as an example. When being raised with love and care, they will always return to their owners with happiness and loyalty as often seen from the action of waving tail and cuddling to their owner’s hands. In the opposite case, they will, obviously, bark or even bite if being treated badly. All of us always want to live longer, and I believe animals also expect similarly. So, I understand why some people argue that we should not stop their lives from our experiments.

When existing on earth, humans have been suffering different things, in particularly diseases. If a new medicine treatment cannot be tested on animals due to moral reasons before applying to human beings, the consequences is indescribable. A clear example would be the cold vaccines. Before the vaccines were discovered, I believe that a thousand of human lives had been suffering, even death. If the vaccines were not rigidly checked thoroughly on mice in laboratory, at least a human life would be badly suffered in case of its side effects, which, of course cause lot of troubles to society. In order to survive, there would be no other options. However, it has been shown recently that lot of animals have been overused for other purposes outside a medical context. So governments, scientists and other related departments should collaborate tightly to mitigate the loss of animals.

In conclusion, I believe that animals should be used in lab in finding of new treatment that is beneficial for humanity but it should be limited due to moral reasons.
It seems to me that the text as a whole is not bad.
 

Tarheel

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Try:

in search of new treatments (for various ailments).

And;

new treatments that are beneficial ...

(I would sure hope they would be beneficial.)
 

99bottles

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The title would be a nice topic for the General Discussion section. Do I have permission to open such a thread?
 

Tarheel

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I don't think you need permission for that.
 
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