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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Hi,
    this song is about my granfather.
    please, Angels, hep me to fix this song too

    He was sitting there, near the window like every day
    it was a position that allowed him to peer into the arrival of the car along the way

    So the evening came down, and he moved satisfied to the table of food
    He hated the bowl of soup and never forgot to see where was the bottle of red wine

    He loved to do long walks with his hands gathered behind his back
    When the sun began to descend or when the sun warmed the bones
    Every step was made of pure life in may or july, depending on the season


    He danced and sang with joy, remembering good times, dressing a Beautiful white shirt
    when the night came back - he went to sleep
    i hope he had - a good long dream
    i hope he had - a good last dream

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    Hi,
    This song is about my grandfather.

    Please , Angels, help me to fix any mistakes in the lyrics. this song too
    See above.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    He was sitting there, near the window like every day
    it was a position that allowed him to peer into the arrival of the car along the way

    So the evening came down, and he moved satisfied to the table of food
    He hated the bowl of soup and never forgot to see where was the bottle of red wine

    He loved to do long walks with his hands gathered behind his back
    When the sun began to descend or when the sun warmed the bones
    Every step was made of pure life in may or july, depending on the season


    He danced and sang with joy, remembering good times, dressing a Beautiful white shirt
    when the night came back - he went to sleep
    i hope he had - a good
    long dream
    i hope he had - a good last dream

    Before someone fixes the mistakes in the song lyrics, can you clarify the meaning of the parts highlighted in orange please?
    Also, are you describing habitual actions of your grandfather or talking about him on a particular day?
    Last edited by teechar; 16-Jun-2019 at 17:57. Reason: removed "angels"

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    See above.


    Before someone fixes the mistakes in the song lyrics, can you clarify the meaning of the parts highlighted in orange please?
    Also, are you describing habitual actions of your grandfather or talking about him on a particular day?
    He was sitting there, near the window like every day -->I mean an action he did every day

    it was a position that allowed him to peer into the arrival of the car along the way --> I mean that from that position, near the window, he could see the arrival of the cars along the road

    i hope he had - a good long dream --> I mead a long dream

    i hope he had - a good last dream --> I mean the last dream, before death...

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Also, are you describing habitual actions of your grandfather or talking about him on a particular day?
    You still haven't answered that.
    Is your grandfather dead? Was that his last day that you're describing in that song?

  5. Newbie
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    #5

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    You still haven't answered that.
    Is your grandfather dead? Was that his last day that you're describing in that song?
    yes, He is dead.
    I am describing a classic day in his life, when he was old.

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    Yes, He is dead.
    May he rest in peace.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trace Vaon View Post
    He was sitting there, near the window like he did every day
    It was a position that allowed him to peer into the arrival of watch the carsarriving along the way

    So the evening came down, and he moved satisfied to the table of food
    He hated the bowl of soup – and never forgot to see – where was the bottle of red wine

    He loved to do long walks with his hands gathered behind his back
    When the sun began to descend or when the sun it warmed the bones
    Every step was made – of pure life – in May or July, depending on the season

    He danced and sang with joy, remembering good times, dressing a beautiful white shirt
    when the night came back - he went to sleep
    I hope he had - a good long dream
    I hope he had - a good last dream

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    He hated soup but ate it anyway?
    Not a professional teacher

  8. Newbie
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    #8

    Re: A Song about my granfather (help me to fix it, please)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    He hated soup but ate it anyway?
    Yes, but the sentence describes a fictional situation...it is not very important

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