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  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
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    #1

    Whenever Tom goes to a party

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Whenever Tom goes to a party, some women inevitably ask him why he, who is so handsome, is not married. Tom silence them all with the reply, "I'm too stingy. No women is ready to subsist on bread and water for the sake of love." He laughs inwardly as he watches the disappointment showing up on their faces. Next, they leave, one after another, and disappear in the crowd, looking for a catch.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

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    #2

    Re: Whenever Tom goes to a party

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Have I made any mistakes?

    Whenever Tom goes to a party, some women inevitably ask him why he, who is so handsome, is not married. Tom silences them all with the reply, "I'm too stingy. No woman is ready to subsist on bread and water for the sake of love." He laughs inwardly as he watches the disappointment appear on their faces. Next, they leave, one after another, and disappear in the crowd, looking for a catch.
    Nobody has a sense of humor anymore
    Not a professional teacher

  3. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

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    #3

    Re: Whenever Tom goes to a party

    I would use "prepared" instead of "ready". I don't think "appear" is necessary.

  4. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    English Teacher
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      • British English
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      • UK
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      • Japan

    • Join Date: Nov 2002
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    #4

    Re: Whenever Tom goes to a party

    How about something like such a handsome man/a man as handsome as he/him?

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