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  1. Member
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    #1

    Disappointment takes adequate planning

    From Guide to Trance Formation by Richard Bandler

    By contrast, many people just feel bad whenever what they decide should happen doesn’t work out that way. This is why I often say, “Disappointment takes adequate planning.”
    Would anyone explain what "disappointment takes adequate planning" means?

    Does this mean if people pin much positive expectation on something, that will cause disappointment?
    Please correct my writing if there's any grammatical solecism.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Disappointment takes adequate planning

    I admit I'm not really clear on what it means. If I had to guess, I would say that perhaps the writer is suggesting that when someone decides to do something, they should plan or prepare for all eventualities, including for the disappointment of things not going how they had hoped.

    Does Bandler not go on to give any explanation of what this "adequate planning" might entail?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Disappointment takes adequate planning

    I don't think Bandler illustrates what adequate planning refers to, at least directly, and I'm not sure if that is implied in the context.

    Here is more text from the book.

    "Most successful athletes do this, or something similar. They know what perfection looks like. They see it being done perfectly, then step inside it, and carry out the action, knowing they’ve succeeded when they get a good feeling.

    It’s important to realize that they don’t feel bad when they don’t get it right; they simply don’t feel anything at all. But when they start to get it right, they feel good, and the better they get, the better they feel—so it builds an addiction to trying. Even if they only get it right one out of ten times, that feeling makes it worthwhile. They push right through the nine times for the buzz of the tenth. After a while, they get it twice out of ten, then four times, and so on, and they keep going because they become hooked on the good feeling.

    By contrast, many people just feel bad whenever what they decide should happen doesn’t work out that way. This is why I often say, “Disappointment takes adequate planning.”

    Unlike the failure-punishment approach to learning, attaching good feeling to action builds a feed-forward loop that gets people to improve their activity based on feeling better and better. When this strategy is properly in place, people don’t mind not getting it right the first time, or even the fourth time, because they know how good it will feel when it does work out."
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 15-Jul-2019 at 13:40. Reason: Removed the quote box so I could quote the text in the response
    Please correct my writing if there's any grammatical solecism.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Disappointment takes adequate planning

    Quote Originally Posted by tree123 View Post
    "Most successful athletes do this, or something similar. They know what perfection looks like. They see it being done perfectly, then step inside it, and carry out the action, knowing they’ve succeeded when they get a good feeling.

    It’s important to realize that they don’t feel bad when they don’t get it right; they simply don’t feel anything at all. But when they start to get it right, they feel good, and the better they get, the better they feel—so it builds an addiction to trying. Even if they only get it right one out of ten times, that feeling makes it worthwhile. They push right through the nine times for the buzz of the tenth. After a while, they get it twice out of ten, then four times, and so on, and they keep going because they become hooked on the good feeling.

    By contrast, many people just feel bad whenever what they decide should happen doesn’t work out that way. This is why I often say, “Disappointment takes adequate planning.”

    Unlike the failure-punishment approach to learning, attaching good feeling to action builds a feed-forward loop that gets people to improve their activity based on feeling better and better. When this strategy is properly in place, people don’t mind not getting it right the first time, or even the fourth time, because they know how good it will feel when it does work out."
    I have underlined the parts that I believe demonstrate what he means. People should plan (train) to react in that way to disappointment.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. jutfrank's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Disappointment takes adequate planning

    No, he's not suggesting one should prepare for when one is disappointed. On the contrary, he means that planning is precisely what leads to disappointment.

    He's simply saying that one shouldn't be disappointed at all. Disappointment is a negative response to a mismatch between expectation and outcome. It's not a useful response to have. Only positive responses can provide the proper motivation to change.

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