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  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 6,546
    #1

    Robert was in shock for days

    Have I made any mistakes?

    Robert was in shock for days when he was diagnosed with leukaemia. His father died of cancer a few years before, and Robert knew what kind of struggle was before him. He felt like a lone little child thrown into a life and death battle.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,045
    #2

    Re: Robert was in shock for days

    1- Consider using "after" instead of "when".
    2- Use "had died" instead of "died".
    3- Hyphenate "life-and-death".

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