A song.

[Fatdog]

Good night! Correct please my translation a song into English.
Watch yourself.
Author: Victor Tsoy.
Group "Kino" (film)

They say to somebody today:"Good-bye"
Tomorrow they'll say:"Rest in pease"
The injure of heart will be scarlet.
Tomorrow somebody returning to his home
Will see his city broken,
Someone will fall down from crane.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

Tomorrow somebody lying in bad
Will understand that he'll ill incurably,
Another one coming out of the house
Will get under a car.
Tomorrow somewhere in a hospital
The arm of young surgeon will falter,
Someone will trip a mine.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

Last night a plane flew over us.
Tomorrow it will fall down into an ocean,
All the passengers will die.
Tomorrow somewhere, nobody knows where,
Will be a war, or an epidemic, or a snow storm,
Or black holes of universe.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

Thank you.

 

[Tarheel]

Thank me now

Perhaps:

A heart will bleed scarlet.

,,,

Someone will fall from a crane.

You may thank me now.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Thank me now

Try:

Will understand that he's incurably ill.

I don't understand the part about falling under a car.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Thank me now

It's the OR mistakes they don't fix before they leave the operating room that are a problem.

 

[Raymott]

Re: Thank me now

You could run it through a spell checker. That will pick up 'pease', and maybe some other errors.

 

[Tarheel]

Try:

Last night a plane flew overhead. Tomorrow it will fall into the ocean


(I hope not.)

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

Tomorrow somewhere--nobdy knows where--there will be a war, an epidemic or a snowstorm.

 

[Tarheel]

"The sky is falling!"

If you walk around in a state of constant panic you won't be able to cope with everyday life.

 

[Fatdog]

My attempt №2:

They say to somebody today:"Good-bye"
Tomorrow they'll say:"Rest in peace"
The heart will bleed scarlet.
Tomorrow somebody returning to his home
Will see his city broken,
Someone will fall from a tall crane.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

Tomorrow somebody lying in bad
Will understand that he is incurably ill,
Another one coming out of the house
Will be hitten by a car.
Tomorrow somewhere in a hospital
The arm of young surgeon will falter,
Someone will trip a mine in a forest.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

Last night a plane flew above us.
Tomorrow it will fall into the ocean,
All the passengers will perish.
Tomorrow somewhere - Who does know where? -
Will be a war, an epidemic, or a snowstorm,
Or black hole of universe.
Watch yourself! Be careful!
Watch yourself!

 

[Fatdog]

Try:

Last night a plane flew overhead. Tomorrow it will fall into the ocean


(I hope not.)

Why do you write "the ocean"?
The plane will fall (i hope not too) into some ocean, Into Indian Ocean or into Pacific. Why one must tell "the ocean"?

Can I tell "above us" instead of "overhead"?

 

[Tarheel]

Why do you write "the ocean"?
The plane will fall (i hope not too) into some ocean, Into the Indian Ocean or into the Pacific. Why one must tell "the ocean"?

Can I tell "above us" instead of "overhead"?

People are all the time getting "say" and "tell" mixed up.

Yes, you can say "above us" instead of "overhead". It's not terrible.

It's always "the" ocean. There is just one ocean that has different names in different places.

 

[Tarheel]

You can be hit by a car crossing the street, but I wouldn't be worried about being hit by a car just because I was going outside.

 

[Fatdog]

You can be hit by a car crossing the street, but I wouldn't be worried about being hit by a car just because I was going outside.

I'll think about the translation of that sentence of the song.

 

[Fatdog]

Can I say "Someone has been coming out of the house will be hitten by a car"?
Makes it sense?

 

[Tarheel]

That's a horrible mess. Let's start with the last part first. Say:

Does it make sense? (No!)

Two things. One, that sentence is unfixable. Start over! Two, hitten is not a word. (Maybe you're thinking of bitten, whicb is, of course, a different verb entirely.)

 

[Tarheel]

You will find if you look that a million sentences begin with Does it

Does it look like rain?
Does it look good to you?
Does it look good on me?
Does it make me look fat?
Does he like me?
Does it seem likely?
Does it look good?
Does it seem right to you?
Does it taste good?
Does it taste right?
Does it look right?
Does she like me?
Does it work?
Does it feel right?
Does green go with blue?
Does he like his new job?
Does it look like there are a couple of outliers on this list?

 

[Fatdog]

Yes, of course!
"Does it make sense?"
Of course, "to make" is not a modal verb.
Today I have read a lot in English and my head has swollen :-D (It means "I'm very tired and do not able to think")
Thank you for helping!
I'll think about that sentence more.

 

[Tarheel]

Yes, of course!
"Does it make sense?"
Of course, "to make" is not a modal verb.
Today I have read a lot in English and my head has swollen :-D (It means "I'm very tired and [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] not able to think")
Thank you for helping!
I'll think about that sentence more.

Don't think too much. It will make your head hurt.
;-)

 

[Fatdog]

Today my head is fresh!
Does "Someone will be hit by a car after having come out of the house" make sense?

 

[Tarheel]

It's better than the other one.
:-?