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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Gujarati
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Feb 2012
    • Posts: 31
    #1

    whoever you are, a student, housewife, working woman

    I am exercising to write content for my future web site.

    Following is the excerpt of that content. Please correct grammar and suggest how to write it better.

    When you need xyz company

    Whoever you are, a student, housewife, working woman, businessman or an industrialist it doesnít any matter when you use electronic gadgets like computer, laptop, smartphone, server, security system etc. You may have troubles, issues or questions while using above devices or you may not be able to decide as to which IT product you should purchase. Itís time you need xyz to overcome your troubles and issues. We are a one-stop solution for everything you need.

    If you have any thought of developing an innovative product, but are confused as to where to begin from. Again itís time you need xyz.

    If you are an IT admin, stuck in some difficult situation and need help from a product or service expert then this is the time you need xyz.

    Suppose you are planning to start a new company and want to setup the infrastructure from scratch but having trouble while dealing with different vendors for different services like cabling, installation, setting up application, server maintenance etc. It becomes so chaotic when dealing with all the vendors at the same time. You have to do so because all these tasks are interdependent to each other. Such a situation makes you feel that you are in hell. Now, itís time you need xyz. Just hand over your IT needs to us and be relax to concentrate on your core things. You donít have to think about any other things except how to grow your core concept and we will help you with the best ideas in the industry to accomplish it.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,201
    #2

    Re: whoever you are, a student, housewife, working woman

    This is waffle. Most people don't have the time or inclination to read that kind of stuff. Can't you be more specific about what you/your website has to offer?

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 51,309
    #3

    Re: whoever you are, a student, housewife, working woman

    By the end of your piece, I still had no idea what your company really offers.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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