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Thread: Bob and Jane

  1. Member
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    #1

    Bob and Jane

    Bob and Jane

    Everyday, Bob and Jane take the bus to go to office together. Bob likes Jane very much, but he is shy for talking to her about his love. One day, when both is on the bus, Bob give Jane a piece of paper that he wrote as follows “if you love me, let give back me this piece of paper. Otherwise, you throw it out of window”. A moment later, Jane head to him and give him it and says “the window is locked so I can’t throw it out”.

    Please give me some feedback.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Bob and Jane

    Quote Originally Posted by chunchuntthn View Post
    Bob and Jane


    Everyday Every day, Bob and Jane take the bus to go to the office together. Bob likes Jane very much, but he is too shy for talking to talk to her about his love feelings.

    One day, when both is of them were on the bus, Bob give gave Jane a piece of paper that he wrote as follows on which he had writtenIf you love me, let give me back me this piece of paper. Otherwise If not, you throw it out of the window”.

    A moment later, Jane head to him and give gave it back to him it and says saidThe window is locked so I can’t throw it out”.

    Please give me some feedback.
    See above. Poor Bob!

    (I had no idea what you meant by "Jane head to him" but whatever it was, it didn't seem to add anything useful so I deleted it.)
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Bob and Jane

    This is my rewrite.

    Every day, Bob and Jane take the bus to the office together. Bob likes Jane very much, but he is too shy to talk to her about his feelings.
    One day, when both of them (they both) were on the bus, Bob gave Jane a piece of paper which he had written on “ If you love me, give me back this piece of paper. If not, throw it out of the window”.
    A moment later, Jane gave it back to him and said “ The window is locked so I can’t throw it out”.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Bob and Jane

    It would be better to say they take the same bus. They are clearly not a couple. Otherwise, just use the one with Ems's corrections.
    Not a professional teacher

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    #5

    Re: Bob and Jane

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    It would be better to say they take the same bus. They are clearly not a couple. Otherwise, just use the one with Ems's corrections.
    Maybe I should write as follows:
    Bob and Jane often take the same bus to the office together.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Bob and Jane

    No. Say:

    Bob and Jane often take the same bus to the office.

    The word "together" suggests that they are a couple. (Jane disagrees.)
    Not a professional teacher

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