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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    In the weeks after his wife's funeral

    Have I made any mistakes?

    In the weeks after his wife's funeral, Clive buried himself in his work, hopping he would not think much about Emma. He would often go to a pub and spend evenings drinking and chatting with other patrons, just to avoid being alone with his thoughts. But the more he tried, the more often she came up in his mind. Soon, he felt haunted and saw Emma everywhere: at home, in supermarkets, on trams and on streets. In the end, he couldn't get a wink of sleep, expecting her to appear beside him in bed. After a couple of weeks, he went to A&E looking haggard and dishevelled as if he had been tortured. When the nurse asked him what happened, Clive croaked, "Please help me. I'm going to die. My dead wife is after me."

  2. Senior Member
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    #2

    Re: In the weeks after his wife's funeral

    In the weeks after his wife's funeral, Clive buried himself in his work, hopping he would not think much about Emma. He would often go to a pub and spend evenings drinking and chatting with other patrons, just to avoid being alone with his thoughts. But the more he tried, the more often she came up in his mind. Soon, he felt haunted and saw Emma everywhere: at home, in supermarkets, on trams and in the streets. In the end, he couldn't sleep a wink, expecting her to appear beside him in bed. After a couple of weeks of this, he appeared at Emergency looking haggard and dishevelled, as though he had been tortured. When the nurse asked him what happened, Clive croaked, "Please help me. I'm going to die. My dead wife is coming after me."

    ("Emergency" is how we say it in Canada. Not many people would understand "A&E". "As if" and "as though" are nearly interchangeable, but here "as though" seems more natural, perhaps because he has actually been tortured by the apparitions of his wife: "as if" tends to be more hypothetical than "as though".)
    Last edited by abaka; 29-Aug-2019 at 07:47.
    Retired proofreader. ESL tutor. Not a teacher. Nor a typist, evidently.

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